A Week to Remember

First off, apologies for not having written in nearly a week - I'd meant to be more regular! But, at least I'm writing every few days and that's certainly better than I've ever done. So I'm alright with it.

Here's an update on this week's meals.... they went pretty well!

For Tuesday's menu, I made a meatless lasagna (which I'm going to start making WITH the meat now...) with a salad (spring mix, topped with chopped almonds, parmesan, and raspberry vinaigrette), and some wonderfully crusty Italian bread. The lasagna came out alright. I've done better in some respects, but I definitely think lasagna is one of those recipes you have to tinker with over time to really get that "family secret recipe" effect. So, I'm going to be patient with that one.

As for the bread.... I have to take a moment to rave and rant about this bread because it is THE BEST I have ever tasted. (This is the second time I've gotten it.) The best parat about it is that it's only three bucks at Meijer, and it is called an "All Natural White Mountain Boule." (That's what the label says.) And wow.... if you just pop it in the oven to crisp for a few minutes, it comes out perfectly chewy on the inside and the epitome of crispiness on the outside. It's heavenly. And I love it.

Wednesday night, I made double baked loaded potatoes with broccoli. Not much of a sophisticated dinner, but it was delicious and filling. We each had half a head of broccoli, so I'd say we both had our vegetable quotient for the day! And the potatoes came out great.

Thursday night was my victory night.... it was perfect. I made omelets and hashbrowns (the way my Mom makes them, which is little cubes of potatoes fried in tons of butter). It was perrrfect, I tell you. The omelets had sausage, finely diced green pepper, and shredded cheddar cheese.

And that's the cooking update. :)

So..... I've had an epiphany. I think I've realized that all I need (in order to feel productive and motivated and just...better,) is to get out more. Cillian and I visited a good friend and her little boy today for the afternoon and it was a wonderful time. Just the thing I needed. I came home mentally and emotionally refreshed, made dinner (fettuccine alfredo, fresh green beans, salad and bread), cleaned the kitchen and commenced to finish the laundry and straighten the upstairs. So, I'm thinking about starting to go to some kind of support group for mothers and see how getting out of the house on a regular basis goes. That and setting up more "playdates." (I put it in quotations because they're more for me than for my three-month-old at this point.)

Today was a very, very good day. I got a lot done, had a shower, visited a friend, got to drive, and came up with the beginnings of a new piano composition (something that has not happened in months.) Glory to God for all things!

A further explanation for my previous post, "Hypocrite," so as not to be misunderstood (I fear it may have been misleading): I am not depressed, as I may have led some of you to suppose. And I am fortunate not to be suffering from any baby blues. I am simply adjusting and trying to figure out what's "real." I apologize for any misunderstanding I might have projected by writing as I did. I assure you, I am completely happy! I have recently learned that I really need to be ok with what I am capable of accomplishing, whether it be simply getting showered one day or cleaning the whole house the next. I am not superwoman (yet...haha), and I shouldn't beat myself up for not meeting my lofty expectations - though they be for myself. I have to be a realist for now, not an idealist. I'll be much happier with things if I just accept that I can't do everything. So there you have it!

It's been a very good week. I feel more balanced and much more grounded. I'm realizing it's ok to be emotional if I have to be, because I've never gone through so many changes (and changes of this monumental nature) in such a short time before in my whole life. I'd be in trouble if I wasn't being somewhat emotional. So this week was somewhat of a milestone because now I have a feel for what direction I need to head toward. One step at a time, Natalie... one step at a time.

I'm excited for the weekend. Both of our families are coming tomorrow to celebrate my birthday a day early with us, and I'm eager to see all of them. It'll be a fun time. Two more days until I'm entirely LEGAL!!!!

I think I'll leave you with the Quote of the Day...

"In marriage the festive joy of the first day should last for the whole of life: every day should be a feast day; every day husband and wife should appear to each other as new, extraordinary beings. The only way of achieving this: let both deepen their spiritual life, and strive hard in the task of self-development."

~ Fr. Alexander Elchaninov, Diary of a Russian Priest (from the book "Preserve Them, O Lord")

That is one of my favorite quotes of all time from one of my favorite books of all time. Very spiritually enriching.

A Wedding Weekend of Wey

Apologies for not having written anything the last four days - I have quite a valid excuse! This past weekend instituted one of the happiest and joyous of weddings I have ever been a part of. One of my oldest, dearest and best of friends got married to one of my husband's childhood friends. (I was privileged to be the matron of honor, and my husband was a groomsman.) I don't remember ever emulating such intense JOY as I did yesterday at their exquisite wedding. Not only was it one of the most beautiful I have ever attended, but the happenstance that it was the two of THEM finally getting married made the jubilation that much more transcendent.

Yesterday (Monday), was grocery shopping day, which I successfully accomplished a second time, and this time, faster. Using up the rotisserie chicken from last week, I made chicken nachos, which were simply scrumptious. I put the chips and then the chicken (in broken up pieces, spread all over the chips), topped with cheese in the oven to warm/melt. Then I took them out and covered them with refried beans, fresh tomatoes, salsa, sour cream, and more shredded cheddar..... mmmmmm.

So, the cooking is going pretty well. :)

Today I'm working on laundry a bit - recovery from a big weekend always entails a heavy workload of laundry, especially Cillian's. His loads mainly consist of burp cloths nowadays.

I was just checking up on facebook and realizing that the school season has, once again, begun for many. I can't believe the summer is coming to a close. It really has flown by, but it has been wonderful in all aspects, aside from the unfortunate fact that I have not gone swimming ONCE this entire summer. (Hopefully soon to be remedied.) I sure miss swimming. I know this may sound weird, but I've been craving the opportunity to just jump in a pool and do a bunch of laps. I hope to get my chance before pools start closing for the season.

I'm really excited for fall. I'm usually ready for each coming change of season, and fall is my very favorite, so I'm extra ready for it to come. I love the crispness and spice in the scent of autumn. And also, my birthday is coming up, so that's something to really look forward to, especially since it will be my 21st, FINALLY!! Being the baby amongst one's friends is pretty trying on your patience when it comes to the year of 21. But my time is near, and I sure am ready for it!

So this is a bit of a random post - but mainly, a compilation of the weekend and what I'm looking forward to. I think I'll close with the Quote of the Day, and tend to Cillian, who has been very patient.

Another one of my favorites...I love the imagery painted for the mind's eye in this one.

"What a great variety of thoughts assail us all the time! Every passion attacks with its own thoughts. If the soul sees clearly, it cuts off the thoughts from afar. Even from their "smell" it realizes which passion is about to rise up and immediately prepares itself, posts sentries, sets up trenches, and gets ready to face the attack of that passion. So we need intense and constant attentiveness, as we have said - intense vigilance. There should be a guard and sentry within us, which observes the thoughts coming and going and check their identities, so that spies do not enter and cause a civil war within the soul. The eye of the soul needs to be very clear and strong in order to see the enemy from afar and take suitable measures."

~ Elder Ephraim of the Holy Mountain

All By Myself

Since the beginning of our marriage, Caleb has been the head chef in our household, mainly because he loves cooking and is great at it and I have hardly any experience with it. However, all of this is about to change because I have felt (since we got married last year) that I was neglecting my wifely duty in cooking for my husband. The wonderful problem we have had is that Caleb, being the fantastic provider that he is, usually insists that it is completely fine with him that I sit back and let him cook for me. Now, don't get me wrong... I LOVE that he cooks and I couldn't be more grateful that it is a skill and avid interest of his.

But... I can't help but feel guilty and like a poor wife who doesn't cook. So, out of desperation to feel better about this predicament, I decided that in order for me to really learn how to cook, Caleb needed to step down and refuse to help me. So far, so good. I'm not banning Caleb entirely from the kitchen, but I wanted to cook at least a few meals a week for a start. I am going to need to learn good cooking skills, both out of necessity and the desire to stand on my own two feet (in the kitchen), especially as the years go on and we have a bigger family. Plus, Caleb's work hours are later now, which gets him home closer to 6 PM every evening instead of 4 or 5, and it just makes more sense for me not only to have dinner ready by the time he comes home, but to do the grocery shopping in my own time as well.

The grocery shopping happened yesterday at Meijer, and it went splendidly. Cillian was a pretty good sport, only fussing a bit until I fed him some of a bottle, propped up on a blanket while I steered the cart with one hand, grocery list and pen (for pricing) in the other. What was so grand about the experience was that I got to make ALL of the decisions. I had mapped out the menu for the week (also something new), and it was up to me to find the best deals on everything I could find. I got all the necessities and when I had finished, I was $7 under budget... I had realized toward the beginning of my shopping that some of my favorite smoothie fruit juice was 70 cents cheaper (this never happens - I check every time in the hopes that it's on sale, since, it being pretty expensive for juice, we never EVER have bought it in our entire married life together.) However, that was about to change. Caleb happened to call me at the perfect time - I was finding some non-food items right before checking out - and I told him how things were going so far and he gave me the go-ahead to purchase the juice since he knew I wanted it (and he enjoys it too). Huzzah!!! That certainly contributed to making my good day great.

So, with a sleeping babe and a full cart (well, half-full... we only shop a week's worth of groceries at a time), I drove home happier than ever. I am a REAL woman. I'm a REAL wife. I can grocery shop with a 2-month-old baby in tow and come out feeling competent!! It was an extraordinary feeling, let me tell you.

Caleb beat me home and came out as soon as I pulled in to help with everything. Then I started dinner and he fed Cillian the rest of his bottle. This also usually doesn't happen - most of the time, it's quite the opposite situation. Caleb puts away the groceries and starts dinner while I feed Cillian. But not this time. Thanks to the godsend of a breast pump (hence the bottles, hence my freedom, hence my making dinner,) I was able to be a real wife and COOK a decent dinner all by my little self. And it wasn't microwavable. Nor did I use the oven. I made some mashed potatoes with shredded sharp cheddar, salt, pepper, butter, and some milk, and flash fried some fresh green beans in olive oil, balsamic vinegar, salt, pepper, and a dash of parmesan cheese (soooo good), served with the rotisserie chicken I picked up. It was VERY tasty.

I know it may seem like I'm making a huge deal out of this - but it is a big deal. I definitely should have started doing the grocery shopping and meal planning and cooking from the very beginning, but Caleb had the head start on me, having lived on his own for several years before we were married, and I had hardly a year away from home to practice those skills. I count myself fortunate to have married such a good cook, and especially a guy who really, genuinely loves it. I figured it would be easy to catch on with Caleb's good example, but, funnily enough, he loves cooking so much that usually he ends up (quite unintentionally) taking over the kitchen when he cooks. So, the most I do when we cook together is rinse lettuce or chop veggies. These are all part of learning to cook, true enough, but I want to learn how to make real meals by myself. And yes, there is an unrealistic part of me that instantly wants to be as good of a cook as my mom, who has learned the tricks to good cooking over the past 30 years, so how can I have such an expectation of myself in 30 DAYS, let alone one year? Silly, I know. But I do want to learn because I know I can be good at it. I just have to learn to follow (and actually read) the directions, for starters. Should be pretty simple from there, right? Right.

And after last night's dinner brought to you by yours truly, I have high hopes for the rest of the week's dinners. On tonight's menu we have fettuccine chicken alfredo with mixed vegetables and thick, crusty Italian bread.

I'd better get crackin'. I'll let you know how it goes. Cheers.