All By Myself

Since the beginning of our marriage, Caleb has been the head chef in our household, mainly because he loves cooking and is great at it and I have hardly any experience with it. However, all of this is about to change because I have felt (since we got married last year) that I was neglecting my wifely duty in cooking for my husband. The wonderful problem we have had is that Caleb, being the fantastic provider that he is, usually insists that it is completely fine with him that I sit back and let him cook for me. Now, don't get me wrong... I LOVE that he cooks and I couldn't be more grateful that it is a skill and avid interest of his.

But... I can't help but feel guilty and like a poor wife who doesn't cook. So, out of desperation to feel better about this predicament, I decided that in order for me to really learn how to cook, Caleb needed to step down and refuse to help me. So far, so good. I'm not banning Caleb entirely from the kitchen, but I wanted to cook at least a few meals a week for a start. I am going to need to learn good cooking skills, both out of necessity and the desire to stand on my own two feet (in the kitchen), especially as the years go on and we have a bigger family. Plus, Caleb's work hours are later now, which gets him home closer to 6 PM every evening instead of 4 or 5, and it just makes more sense for me not only to have dinner ready by the time he comes home, but to do the grocery shopping in my own time as well.

The grocery shopping happened yesterday at Meijer, and it went splendidly. Cillian was a pretty good sport, only fussing a bit until I fed him some of a bottle, propped up on a blanket while I steered the cart with one hand, grocery list and pen (for pricing) in the other. What was so grand about the experience was that I got to make ALL of the decisions. I had mapped out the menu for the week (also something new), and it was up to me to find the best deals on everything I could find. I got all the necessities and when I had finished, I was $7 under budget... I had realized toward the beginning of my shopping that some of my favorite smoothie fruit juice was 70 cents cheaper (this never happens - I check every time in the hopes that it's on sale, since, it being pretty expensive for juice, we never EVER have bought it in our entire married life together.) However, that was about to change. Caleb happened to call me at the perfect time - I was finding some non-food items right before checking out - and I told him how things were going so far and he gave me the go-ahead to purchase the juice since he knew I wanted it (and he enjoys it too). Huzzah!!! That certainly contributed to making my good day great.

So, with a sleeping babe and a full cart (well, half-full... we only shop a week's worth of groceries at a time), I drove home happier than ever. I am a REAL woman. I'm a REAL wife. I can grocery shop with a 2-month-old baby in tow and come out feeling competent!! It was an extraordinary feeling, let me tell you.

Caleb beat me home and came out as soon as I pulled in to help with everything. Then I started dinner and he fed Cillian the rest of his bottle. This also usually doesn't happen - most of the time, it's quite the opposite situation. Caleb puts away the groceries and starts dinner while I feed Cillian. But not this time. Thanks to the godsend of a breast pump (hence the bottles, hence my freedom, hence my making dinner,) I was able to be a real wife and COOK a decent dinner all by my little self. And it wasn't microwavable. Nor did I use the oven. I made some mashed potatoes with shredded sharp cheddar, salt, pepper, butter, and some milk, and flash fried some fresh green beans in olive oil, balsamic vinegar, salt, pepper, and a dash of parmesan cheese (soooo good), served with the rotisserie chicken I picked up. It was VERY tasty.

I know it may seem like I'm making a huge deal out of this - but it is a big deal. I definitely should have started doing the grocery shopping and meal planning and cooking from the very beginning, but Caleb had the head start on me, having lived on his own for several years before we were married, and I had hardly a year away from home to practice those skills. I count myself fortunate to have married such a good cook, and especially a guy who really, genuinely loves it. I figured it would be easy to catch on with Caleb's good example, but, funnily enough, he loves cooking so much that usually he ends up (quite unintentionally) taking over the kitchen when he cooks. So, the most I do when we cook together is rinse lettuce or chop veggies. These are all part of learning to cook, true enough, but I want to learn how to make real meals by myself. And yes, there is an unrealistic part of me that instantly wants to be as good of a cook as my mom, who has learned the tricks to good cooking over the past 30 years, so how can I have such an expectation of myself in 30 DAYS, let alone one year? Silly, I know. But I do want to learn because I know I can be good at it. I just have to learn to follow (and actually read) the directions, for starters. Should be pretty simple from there, right? Right.

And after last night's dinner brought to you by yours truly, I have high hopes for the rest of the week's dinners. On tonight's menu we have fettuccine chicken alfredo with mixed vegetables and thick, crusty Italian bread.

I'd better get crackin'. I'll let you know how it goes. Cheers.