Training

No, I'm not training for a marathon or something of the sort. I wish I was, but I'm not. I am however doing something of equal or greater importance in that of training Cillian.

It is not easy being a mother of a tiny tot sometimes. The consistency required of me to train Cillian can be exhausting at times, but in the end it is always rewarding, I'm discovering.

I decided to write this post to share some of Cillian's recent behavior which I've been very happy with, resulting in the last few weeks of what I'll call tot training. My philosophy on childrearing is constantly evolving and refining, the more I read, the more I observe, the more I learn. I think children are such fascinating little creatures - resilient, bright, inquisitive, naturally affectionate, fun-loving. But without proper guiding and training, these sweet little people can so easily grow up to become monsters - unbridled, selfish, and therefore, in most cases that I've heard of or seen, unhappy.

Some basics of my ideas of training and disciplining - going hand-in-hand - are that consistency is fundamentally key. Also, one should not discipline without having trained first. My understanding of training is that it is teaching what kind of behavior is expected of the child; discipline is teaching a consequence for disobeying the understood training. For example, if a child runs through the house screaming because they are being chased and they know they will be tickled if caught, that is simply a kid reacting like a kid. Enter training. Eventually that screaming is going to get on someone's nerves or wake up a sleeping sibling. Whatever the case, if one desires the screaming to stop, something has to happen. The child needs to be taught that the screaming is not tolerated before they are punished for disobeying. They have not disobeyed yet - they haven't been taught what is expected.

So, what I am doing with Cillian is training (and disciplining too). I am teaching him to obey me. In learning to obey me, he will learn what kind of behavior I expect from him. If he is disobedient, he is disciplined for what he understands. He is doing pretty well so far.

An overview of the last few months - since Jameson was born in November, I noticed that Cillian was having more trouble obeying and being his normal happy self. I had expected something like this, as the arrival of a new sibling can be expected to upturn the usual routine for the older one(s), which can result in regression. I'm pretty sure that's what happened with him, especially since, on top of learning how to handle less attention, the craziness of the busy holidays were hot on the heels of Jameson's birth. Naturally, his routine was severely disrupted with all of the late nights, the hustle and bustle of driving here and there, traveling hours at a time in the car, etc. etc. His little self couldn't take the inconsistency which resulted in random little fits of piercing screaming when we couldn't understand what he wanted or needed. It was quite frustrating.

Now, not only are we back on schedule with our normal daily routine, but he is talking more and can therefore communicate better to us. This makes training a lot easier for both parties.

The few things I've been teaching Cillian are:

* to come to me
* to stop doing something
* to keep hands to yourself/hands in your lap (this comes in handy when he's sitting with me and I'm either on the computer or have something I don't want him to touch)
* to be still (mostly during diaper changes and prayers is this one utilized)
* when I count to three, at the end of three if he doesn't obey, there will be a consequence
* during church, if I have to take him out, it means a spanking for him, not playtime

Yesterday was quite successful. He is obeying more and more every day. I know I have to keep reenforcing and being consistent. It is working before my very eyes... I have a cheerful and gradually more obedient 19-month old who is a joy to be with.

Something else I've noticed... the more I play with him and spend time being with him, the more he wants to obey. He knows that I love him and feels safe in the boundaries I create for him to protect him and to teach him how to obey. I wouldn't describe Cillian as an especially willful child, but he, like every little tot, is inquisitive enough to test the boundaries at every turn. It is the nature of a child, I believe. And I simply have to remember that he is testing those boundaries I place for him to make sure that he is safe. He is happiest when he knows he is safe. I can see that training and discipline take a vital role in ensuring that for him. And in turn, my reward in this consistent work is not being pushed to my emotional limit and exploding in anger at my child who is merely doing what he knows - he is what I create of him. If I teach him to obey, he will be obedient. If not, he will be a constant frustration to me, which is unhealthy and unfair to both of us.

Cillian truly has a dear, very happy disposition. It is my job as his mother to preserve his pure God-given spirit and weed out the sinful nature and human selfishness that can develop in him if left unattended.

Please pray for me, a young mother, as I continue learning and teaching for the benefit of my children. I am so grateful for this calling. It is such hard work, but so good and so fulfilling. Glory to God for all things and especially these children He has entrusted us with to bring up in His ways!

Have a wonderful day and thanks for reading. :)

Here's the Quote of the Day!


"Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it." ~ Proverbs 22:6

New Year, New Lifestyle

First post of the new year!!! Happy New Year, folks!

There's nothing like being motivated by the fresh start presented by the new year. I have to confess that I'm certainly one of those "New Year's Resolution" people. But I like to try making them as realistic and achievable as possible.

Caleb and I normally make a Top Ten list, including the classic eat better and exercise more plan, as well as a book list we want to get through in the coming year. Last year I can't remember how many books we wanted to read, but we managed to get through all the Harry Potter books, and nearly all of the Chronicles of Narnia books together, which I think is pretty good! This year, some books on our list include The Lord of the Rings Trilogy, The Hobbit, finishing the Last Battle (last book in the Narnia series,) and the Hunger Games Trilogy, as well as some spiritual books (lives of the saints, books on Orthodoxy, etc).

This year, my personal list is much the same as last year's. I'm back on track to losing the baby weight I've gained with (now) two bouncing baby boys. Caleb and I are doing something a little dramatic for our diet this year. We've decided to base it on portion control - eating only one serving of whatever we're eating, and cutting out what I'll call "fluff foods." Fluff foods are the ones you eat mindlessly because they're there, and hey, you feel like munching on something. You're not really enjoying the fluff food, because it's normally not quality food that one might relish.

That said, the diet, or rather, lifestyle changes, we've decided to make are these:

* Don't eat past 8 PM
* Endeavor to drink as much water as possible (and for me, this means drinking quite a lot, as I'm nursing)
* Eat as much natural, whole, real food as possible - eggs, meat, dairy, whole grains, raw fruits and vegetables, etc.
* Eat said food in allotted serving sizes and therefore get used to eating less.
* Stop eating before we are full, and drink water before, during, and after eating so as to fill up sooner. This will help us to feel full when really, we've just filled ourselves up with water and just enough food that we need.
* Enjoy eating the food we prepare for ourselves. This is key - not to do anything else while eating (reading magazines, being on the computer, busying around the kitchen, etc.) The focus is the food and to enjoy it fully. Eat only when sitting down, so as to focus on the food and conversation around the table.
* Quality over quantity is the general idea. The better the food, the less you need of it. The better the food, the more you can savor it. The less you eat, the smaller your stomach, the more you lose.

In addition to this lifestyle change, I am planning to (rather than to entirely overwhelm myself with exercising and working out,) increase the action in my lifestyle. If I'm taking a walk out in the woods, tramping through sticks and leaves and up and down hills, I'm not going to be thinking about the workout I'll end up getting - I'm going to be preoccupied with the beauty of being outdoors and feeling the fresh air.

I am hoping to start swimming again soon, which I would LOVE, because there is no form of exercise I've ever craved as much as swimming. It is my favorite. And in order to strengthen my body again with as little strain on my joints as possible, swimming is the perfect way to achieve that. My goal is to eventually get back into running and maybe even attempt my first ever marathon (starting with a mini). That would be incredible... But for now, I'll keep it realistic and achievable.

Steady as she goes...

I have a tendency to load up my plate, so to speak, and try too much at once, resulting in a predictable crash and burn only weeks after setting lofty goals for myself, plowing on hard core. Hopefully that will not happen this time. I'm planning on trying to be as consistent as possible. That is my overall goal this year.
Consistency.

This will probably sound amusing, but my general goal is to... make goals for myself this year - monthly goals, weekly goals, daily goals. I don't think I'm a naturally goal-oriented person, so it only just occurred to me fairly recently that I would probably have a much more organized lifestyle if I made goals for myself. Novel, eh? I know, I know... I'm a genius.

Said goals will include personal, family, spiritual, organizational, and project-oriented goals. Haven't come up with any yet, but it won't take me long to think some up. I'll probably make a list. I'm good at lists. I like lists.

So, all in all, I'm very excited for this new year! I'm content right now. There is so much to be grateful for, and I'm on my way to discovering just how much.

Thank you, God, for this year, a fresh opportunity to begin anew.

Wishing you all a very happy and successful new year. Happy 2012!


Here's the Quote of the Day:

"For the wonderful qualities of faith are two: that it both accomplishes great things, and suffers great things; and regards the suffering as nothing."

~ St. John Chrysostom