Cillian has been talking a whole lot more recently. Mostly his lingo consists of made-up gobbledegook that greatly resembles that of the Ewoks from Star Wars. Sometimes I could have sworn I've heard hints of what sounds like Korean. I've been trying to keep up with all of the new words he is learning, having begun a list in late September adding up to nearly thirty words, I believe.
But now, he is such a mimic that he is capable of repeating much, much more. He seems to be retaining some favorites though...
Here are mine.
His new one is "Peat?" (please) and I love it because it always sounds like a little question.
He calls nearly every animal a puppy. When we're at the grocery store, we like to take him to look at the fish. "What do you see, Cillian? Are those fish? Can you say fish?" "Puppyyyyy!!!!"
About forty percent of the time, when learning a new word, Cillian will come out with it backwards. So, sometimes I have to mentally reverse whatever he is saying to see if it makes any more sense to me... I have a verbally dyslexic child.
Another one of my favorites is when I'm doing laundry and he helps me out by (very usefully) opening and closing the dryer door. When the dryer is empty enough of clothes to make an echo, he'll poke his head in and shout, "Echo! Echo!!!" (which comes out sounding more like, "Ahcowww!!")
I think my absolute favorite might be the way he says "ok." It sounds like "ah-kee." After we're finished wiping him down from the mess of eating a meal, we get him down from his high chair and tell him, "Ok, go!" And he'll run away yelling, "aah-kee go! ah-kee go!!"
He's beginning to put two words together now. So, as his vocabulary expands, I'm sure we'll be seeing more conversational elements to his talking. I love this. Sometimes Caleb and I just die laughing at the things he comes up with. I wonder how much we'll be laughing when he's actually coming up with ideas of his own later on.
My mom kept note (as much as possible) of what my siblings and I said when we were little, and reading it now hardly ever gets old. I hope I'm able to do the same. I don't ever want to forget this.
We're living "the young years" and I love this time. It's difficult at times, but greatly outweighed by cuteness, laughter, and a plethora of chubby cheeks.
Here's the Quote of the Day... I really believe this one with all my heart.
"The soul is healed by being with children." ~ English Proverb
Friday, December 9, 2011
Saturday, November 19, 2011
Two
First off, I want to apologize for my previous opinionated post, and especially if it offended anyone. I just now reread it with more of an open mind and realized I could have very easily come off as haughty or self-righteous, and I did not mean for that to happen. So, please forgive me if I have stepped on your toes in stating my opinionated views. It was unconsciously done.
On a bright note... I am relieved and happy to announce that Jameson Caleb Wilson is HERE!!! He was born, as I predicted, at a whopping 10 pounds, 3 ounces, on Wednesday, November 9th, at 4:21 in the afternoon. It has been a wonderful three weeks so far getting to know him and take care of him.
He is perfect.
The labor and delivery went very smoothly. My doctor scheduled me to go in at 6 PM Tuesday night for a Cervadel treatment (a cervix softener, which normally helps start labor). Caleb and I went to the hospital Tuesday night and found out that I had already started labor on my own (I had had some more real-feeling contractions the night before, though they were hardly regular.) My water broke on its own at 4 AM, Wednesday morning. And I labored for the next twelve hours, finishing with less than ten minutes of pushing.
So thankful not to be pregnant any more! Jamie was getting pretty uncomfortable those last couple months... now I know to really watch what I'm eating for the next one, since he was a "little" ten-pounder. They just get bigger from here on out, right??
Cillian loves his new baby brother. For a 17-month-old, he is (most of the time) surprisingly gentle toward him, which is really sweet to watch. Jamie receives many a kiss on the head and pats on the arm or back from his big brother.
So far, Jameson is a wonderful eater, a pretty good sleeper, and an overall content little guy (like his brother was as a newborn). I think it's really interesting how, with one's first baby, everyone tries to figure out which parent the baby looks more like, whereas the second is compared almost exclusively with the older sibling. I am seeing more and more of Jamie resembling Cillian, though he certainly has his own look.
Things really are pretty easy as of now, despite having another little one to care for. Caleb had nearly three weeks off this time around, which was an amazing help. My mom came back to help out for a few days when Caleb went back to work this week, and that was also much, much appreciated! So now I'm on my own. :) Tomorrow is the first day. Say a prayer for me if you think of it.
I must say, I am amazed at how quickly I'm recovering. I feel nearly back to normal already! And I suppose losing 20 pounds almost instantaneously certainly makes a difference in how I'm feeling. I tell ya... if you want to see yourself lose weight instantly, just have a ten pound baby. I love love looooooove being able to bend over again! My restless leg syndrome is gone, and I'm not nearly as breathless as I was while pregnant (so nice). I generally feel better all over as compared to my recovery with Cillian.
I'm probably getting less sleep with Jamie than with Cillian as a newborn, but then again, I don't remember too clearly just how much sleep I was getting as a first time mom. Thank goodness Cillian still sleeps in until 9 AM every morning now!
So thankful that Jamie is here now and healthy and growing. At three weeks old, he is now 11 lbs, 3 oz, exactly a pound more than he weighed at birth, which I am very happy for! Glad to know he's healthily gaining weight.
More updates soon. And pictures on facebook, I promise! Soon soon.
For now... here's the Quote of the Day. For the first time, I thought I'd make it original, since it applies...
Quote of the Day:
"Love, to me, is defined by how calm-hearted I can be during the multiple times I get up in the night to tend to this little creature who needs me to love him and keep him alive as much as I need him to teach me patience and purity of heart."
~ NCW
On a bright note... I am relieved and happy to announce that Jameson Caleb Wilson is HERE!!! He was born, as I predicted, at a whopping 10 pounds, 3 ounces, on Wednesday, November 9th, at 4:21 in the afternoon. It has been a wonderful three weeks so far getting to know him and take care of him.
He is perfect.
The labor and delivery went very smoothly. My doctor scheduled me to go in at 6 PM Tuesday night for a Cervadel treatment (a cervix softener, which normally helps start labor). Caleb and I went to the hospital Tuesday night and found out that I had already started labor on my own (I had had some more real-feeling contractions the night before, though they were hardly regular.) My water broke on its own at 4 AM, Wednesday morning. And I labored for the next twelve hours, finishing with less than ten minutes of pushing.
So thankful not to be pregnant any more! Jamie was getting pretty uncomfortable those last couple months... now I know to really watch what I'm eating for the next one, since he was a "little" ten-pounder. They just get bigger from here on out, right??
Cillian loves his new baby brother. For a 17-month-old, he is (most of the time) surprisingly gentle toward him, which is really sweet to watch. Jamie receives many a kiss on the head and pats on the arm or back from his big brother.
So far, Jameson is a wonderful eater, a pretty good sleeper, and an overall content little guy (like his brother was as a newborn). I think it's really interesting how, with one's first baby, everyone tries to figure out which parent the baby looks more like, whereas the second is compared almost exclusively with the older sibling. I am seeing more and more of Jamie resembling Cillian, though he certainly has his own look.
Things really are pretty easy as of now, despite having another little one to care for. Caleb had nearly three weeks off this time around, which was an amazing help. My mom came back to help out for a few days when Caleb went back to work this week, and that was also much, much appreciated! So now I'm on my own. :) Tomorrow is the first day. Say a prayer for me if you think of it.
I must say, I am amazed at how quickly I'm recovering. I feel nearly back to normal already! And I suppose losing 20 pounds almost instantaneously certainly makes a difference in how I'm feeling. I tell ya... if you want to see yourself lose weight instantly, just have a ten pound baby. I love love looooooove being able to bend over again! My restless leg syndrome is gone, and I'm not nearly as breathless as I was while pregnant (so nice). I generally feel better all over as compared to my recovery with Cillian.
I'm probably getting less sleep with Jamie than with Cillian as a newborn, but then again, I don't remember too clearly just how much sleep I was getting as a first time mom. Thank goodness Cillian still sleeps in until 9 AM every morning now!
So thankful that Jamie is here now and healthy and growing. At three weeks old, he is now 11 lbs, 3 oz, exactly a pound more than he weighed at birth, which I am very happy for! Glad to know he's healthily gaining weight.
More updates soon. And pictures on facebook, I promise! Soon soon.
For now... here's the Quote of the Day. For the first time, I thought I'd make it original, since it applies...
Quote of the Day:
"Love, to me, is defined by how calm-hearted I can be during the multiple times I get up in the night to tend to this little creature who needs me to love him and keep him alive as much as I need him to teach me patience and purity of heart."
~ NCW
Monday, October 24, 2011
Waiting
It is the season of waiting. Everything is in place, nearly everything of importance is ready. All we're waiting for is a baby to show up. :)
This past Saturday, we got a new car seat (a toddler, forward-facing one) for Cillian, so that his old car seat can be used for Jameson. It has made a remarkable difference in his mood, now that he is able to see everything the way we do in the car. His first ride in his new seat was to church Sunday morning, and he smiled and laughed the whole way. I'm so happy he loves it. It's cute - he kind of gets this little grin when he knows he is about to get put in his seat. Such a nice change from the resistant mini tantrums we've been dealing with.
So that is a very important thing that is now taken care of with flying colors!
I just ordered a new diaper bag on Amazon.com, since we lost the one we had at a rest stop last May. (We've been using a borrowed tote for the time being.) Very excited about this new one though. It's called a Diaper Dude diaper bag, and it really looks quite manly. Designed for dads essentially, it is a messenger bag style with one shoulder strap (which leaves both hands free), and has several zippered compartments, which makes keeping things organized easy. A bit more on the expensive end for a diaper bag, but I think we'll be exceedingly happy with it! Plus, it's very masculine-looking, we will have two boys, and my husband is eager to use it. Win, win, win.
I'm visiting the doctor's office weekly now - 39 weeks as of Wednesday! My doctor estimated Jameson to be 8 pounds already... and that was last Wednesday. So, I've been trying to avoid sweets and sugary things for these remaining weeks so as not to contribute to making this baby any bigger than he has to be! I'm guessing that he'll be around a week late, and nearing 10 pounds. Just to be safely prepared. Due date is November 2nd, so I'm giving him until the 9th. But we'll see... he might be in more of a hurry than I'm giving him credit for. :)
In the meantime, I'm just enjoying the days I have at home with Cillian, my little buddy. We have such a nice routine, and though it will be refreshing to have a new change to adjust to, I sure will miss our peaceful mornings together, just him and me. I hope I can consciously pay as much attention to him as he needs from me, despite having a new little son to bond with. I'm looking forward to being a mother of two boys!
Not to go into a complaining session of the aches and pains of third-trimester pregnancy, but I sure feel ready to get this kid out. I can feel the stress on my body and the timer is ticking. I will miss all this kicking and moving though. Jamie is quite an active little fella. I think I saw a foot pop out the other day! He is head down and ready to go, which is something I'm particularly grateful for. This also means that his feet are continuously sneaking their way up into my ribs...
I'm finding myself looking forward not only to finally holding Jameson and getting to see him for the first time (and the physical relief that childbirth will bring), but actually going through labor and delivery naturally again. I have to say, I've never had quite a spiritual experience as I had when giving birth to Cillian. Truthfully, (and not to be mock-modest or anything) labor was not as painful as I expected it to be, and yes, it is painful - any woman who has given birth knows this! But it is truly the best pain I have ever felt. There is so much good in this kind of pain. And I wish every woman could experience childbirth as deeply spiritual. There you are, in the presence of God, sacrificing, laboring, being.
Fr. Meletios Weber says in "Bread & Water, Wine & Oil" that one can only find God in the present. He does not exist in the past nor the future, which are the dwelling places of the mind. But the heart, the nous, he says, dwells in the present. And there, we can be. Not reminiscing or imagining, as our minds' nature takes us to the past or future, but being. This is what I felt in the midst of the pain while in labor - the pain continually brought me into the present, where God was, and there I was able to work through it, contraction after contraction through the end.
Not all pain is bad... I think it's kind of sad how many women (and more specifically American women, I've read) seem to be so eager to request pain medication for such a miraculous occasion as giving birth to a baby. It is not an illness, or something to be avoided though there happens to be a "cure for the pain" nowadays. Women centuries and thousands of years before us have given birth naturally perfectly capably without medical assistance. Our female bodies were created to handle this joyous occasion, in all of its pain and pleasure. If God didn't include natural painkillers in the beginning, perhaps they aren't meant to be had! The pain meant to be felt is good, and even more, it is holy.
There are some things that are meant to be experienced organically, naturally, I believe. And childbirth, in my opinion is certainly one of them. There is so much one can miss in this experience. I just know for me, that I am determined to experience all of it, to feel all of it, as I believe God intended.
In childbirth, women are continually working out their salvation, hand in hand with God. It is good work. It is holy work, to bring a baby, life, into the world.
I didn't quite mean to get so zealous about the subject... do forgive me if I have been too opinionated!
I am ready. I'm ready to meet my Jameson.
Back to preparing... I have several long lists (anyone who knows me well knows that I loooooove making lists,) of what needs to be done before he arrives. Much of it includes last minute straightening and tidying and organizing, making some plans for Christmas (so I have it easier come December, when it's actually time to think about Christmas...), and also packing for the hospital. I really hope I'm prepared by the time he comes. I keep thinking that I've got several weeks left on the timer, but really, he could come ANY time now!
I'll keep you posted on how things progress. For now, I'll leave you with the Quote of the Day! This one made me chuckle...
Thanks for reading. :)
Cheers.
"People who say they sleep like a baby usually don't have one." ~ Leo J. Burke
This past Saturday, we got a new car seat (a toddler, forward-facing one) for Cillian, so that his old car seat can be used for Jameson. It has made a remarkable difference in his mood, now that he is able to see everything the way we do in the car. His first ride in his new seat was to church Sunday morning, and he smiled and laughed the whole way. I'm so happy he loves it. It's cute - he kind of gets this little grin when he knows he is about to get put in his seat. Such a nice change from the resistant mini tantrums we've been dealing with.
So that is a very important thing that is now taken care of with flying colors!
I just ordered a new diaper bag on Amazon.com, since we lost the one we had at a rest stop last May. (We've been using a borrowed tote for the time being.) Very excited about this new one though. It's called a Diaper Dude diaper bag, and it really looks quite manly. Designed for dads essentially, it is a messenger bag style with one shoulder strap (which leaves both hands free), and has several zippered compartments, which makes keeping things organized easy. A bit more on the expensive end for a diaper bag, but I think we'll be exceedingly happy with it! Plus, it's very masculine-looking, we will have two boys, and my husband is eager to use it. Win, win, win.
I'm visiting the doctor's office weekly now - 39 weeks as of Wednesday! My doctor estimated Jameson to be 8 pounds already... and that was last Wednesday. So, I've been trying to avoid sweets and sugary things for these remaining weeks so as not to contribute to making this baby any bigger than he has to be! I'm guessing that he'll be around a week late, and nearing 10 pounds. Just to be safely prepared. Due date is November 2nd, so I'm giving him until the 9th. But we'll see... he might be in more of a hurry than I'm giving him credit for. :)
In the meantime, I'm just enjoying the days I have at home with Cillian, my little buddy. We have such a nice routine, and though it will be refreshing to have a new change to adjust to, I sure will miss our peaceful mornings together, just him and me. I hope I can consciously pay as much attention to him as he needs from me, despite having a new little son to bond with. I'm looking forward to being a mother of two boys!
Not to go into a complaining session of the aches and pains of third-trimester pregnancy, but I sure feel ready to get this kid out. I can feel the stress on my body and the timer is ticking. I will miss all this kicking and moving though. Jamie is quite an active little fella. I think I saw a foot pop out the other day! He is head down and ready to go, which is something I'm particularly grateful for. This also means that his feet are continuously sneaking their way up into my ribs...
I'm finding myself looking forward not only to finally holding Jameson and getting to see him for the first time (and the physical relief that childbirth will bring), but actually going through labor and delivery naturally again. I have to say, I've never had quite a spiritual experience as I had when giving birth to Cillian. Truthfully, (and not to be mock-modest or anything) labor was not as painful as I expected it to be, and yes, it is painful - any woman who has given birth knows this! But it is truly the best pain I have ever felt. There is so much good in this kind of pain. And I wish every woman could experience childbirth as deeply spiritual. There you are, in the presence of God, sacrificing, laboring, being.
Fr. Meletios Weber says in "Bread & Water, Wine & Oil" that one can only find God in the present. He does not exist in the past nor the future, which are the dwelling places of the mind. But the heart, the nous, he says, dwells in the present. And there, we can be. Not reminiscing or imagining, as our minds' nature takes us to the past or future, but being. This is what I felt in the midst of the pain while in labor - the pain continually brought me into the present, where God was, and there I was able to work through it, contraction after contraction through the end.
Not all pain is bad... I think it's kind of sad how many women (and more specifically American women, I've read) seem to be so eager to request pain medication for such a miraculous occasion as giving birth to a baby. It is not an illness, or something to be avoided though there happens to be a "cure for the pain" nowadays. Women centuries and thousands of years before us have given birth naturally perfectly capably without medical assistance. Our female bodies were created to handle this joyous occasion, in all of its pain and pleasure. If God didn't include natural painkillers in the beginning, perhaps they aren't meant to be had! The pain meant to be felt is good, and even more, it is holy.
There are some things that are meant to be experienced organically, naturally, I believe. And childbirth, in my opinion is certainly one of them. There is so much one can miss in this experience. I just know for me, that I am determined to experience all of it, to feel all of it, as I believe God intended.
In childbirth, women are continually working out their salvation, hand in hand with God. It is good work. It is holy work, to bring a baby, life, into the world.
I didn't quite mean to get so zealous about the subject... do forgive me if I have been too opinionated!
I am ready. I'm ready to meet my Jameson.
Back to preparing... I have several long lists (anyone who knows me well knows that I loooooove making lists,) of what needs to be done before he arrives. Much of it includes last minute straightening and tidying and organizing, making some plans for Christmas (so I have it easier come December, when it's actually time to think about Christmas...), and also packing for the hospital. I really hope I'm prepared by the time he comes. I keep thinking that I've got several weeks left on the timer, but really, he could come ANY time now!
I'll keep you posted on how things progress. For now, I'll leave you with the Quote of the Day! This one made me chuckle...
Thanks for reading. :)
Cheers.
"People who say they sleep like a baby usually don't have one." ~ Leo J. Burke
Monday, October 10, 2011
I Have a Pet Named Peeve
Alrighty... here goes. I'm shaking things up a bit. I know I usually make it a point to write POSITIVE posts, but I just couldn't help but slip on this one. Not to say this post promises negativity, but it's simply not a typical Acclimation Central post. However, my hope is that it'll just make you laugh or nod in agreement.
I would say I'm mostly a tolerate person, but when it comes to certain particular things, I can get a bit peeved! Fundamentally, I think incompetency and incorrectness are my biggest peeves.
However, without further ado, here are a few of my particular pet peeves.
1 - Bad grammar, especially when it's obvious that laziness is behind it rather than ignorance.
2 - Bad spelling, same reason.
3 - An incompetent parking job... especially when more than the allotted space is taken up, which inflicts inconvenience upon other neighboring parkers. Also, when said impinging vehicle is not expensive enough to be taking up two spaces.
4 - Whining. Adults, children, teenagers alike, I can't stand whining. (Not that I should be hypocritical - I do my fair share of whining! This post, for example, could be interpreted as whining, I suppose. Oh dear.)
5 - Unnecessary swearing - both in movies and in real life. Use a more intelligent means of expressing yourself, that's all I ask. You'll be doing yourself a favor. :)
6 - Rudeness. It makes me want to punch things. And people. Ok, not really.
7 - Sarcastic eye rolling.
8 - Food on the floor - it merely means I have to bend over and pick it up. Pathetic, I know, but it's a true pet peeve.
9 - Missing socks... anyone who does laundry knows that those machines just eat up socks like they haven't had a meal in weeks. It's true, I'm sure of it.
10 - Forgetting something even when I've repeatedly and determinedly done everything I can TO remember it. (I have a sneaking suspicion this is only going to get worse the older I become.)
11 - Prepositions that are incorrectly added to the end of a sentence at.
12 - Many, many more verbally grammatical errors... I won't get specific.
13 - Spilling things on myself, particularly when it's a freshly laundered shirt I've been looking forward to wearing.
Generally... most of these things I don't even get thaaaat mad about. They're just things that red flag my brain as incorrect or bothersome. But I hope you got at least a bit of a chuckle out of this post. I apologize if it left a bad taste in your mouth.
I hope you have a great, pet-peeve-free day! Cheers.
Here's the Quote of the Day:
“The road to success is always under construction.” ~ Lily Tomlin
I would say I'm mostly a tolerate person, but when it comes to certain particular things, I can get a bit peeved! Fundamentally, I think incompetency and incorrectness are my biggest peeves.
However, without further ado, here are a few of my particular pet peeves.
1 - Bad grammar, especially when it's obvious that laziness is behind it rather than ignorance.
2 - Bad spelling, same reason.
3 - An incompetent parking job... especially when more than the allotted space is taken up, which inflicts inconvenience upon other neighboring parkers. Also, when said impinging vehicle is not expensive enough to be taking up two spaces.
4 - Whining. Adults, children, teenagers alike, I can't stand whining. (Not that I should be hypocritical - I do my fair share of whining! This post, for example, could be interpreted as whining, I suppose. Oh dear.)
5 - Unnecessary swearing - both in movies and in real life. Use a more intelligent means of expressing yourself, that's all I ask. You'll be doing yourself a favor. :)
6 - Rudeness. It makes me want to punch things. And people. Ok, not really.
7 - Sarcastic eye rolling.
8 - Food on the floor - it merely means I have to bend over and pick it up. Pathetic, I know, but it's a true pet peeve.
9 - Missing socks... anyone who does laundry knows that those machines just eat up socks like they haven't had a meal in weeks. It's true, I'm sure of it.
10 - Forgetting something even when I've repeatedly and determinedly done everything I can TO remember it. (I have a sneaking suspicion this is only going to get worse the older I become.)
11 - Prepositions that are incorrectly added to the end of a sentence at.
12 - Many, many more verbally grammatical errors... I won't get specific.
13 - Spilling things on myself, particularly when it's a freshly laundered shirt I've been looking forward to wearing.
Generally... most of these things I don't even get thaaaat mad about. They're just things that red flag my brain as incorrect or bothersome. But I hope you got at least a bit of a chuckle out of this post. I apologize if it left a bad taste in your mouth.
I hope you have a great, pet-peeve-free day! Cheers.
Here's the Quote of the Day:
“The road to success is always under construction.” ~ Lily Tomlin
Wednesday, September 21, 2011
Some of My Favorite Things...
I'm feeling rather euphoric for some reason. I believe this calls for a post on favorite things... Here are some that come to mind - thinking about these things makes my heart smile.
Hope you enjoy them.
- A newly clean-shaven husband (it reminds me of our wedding day...)
- Baby dimples
- Green lights. They mean go. :)
- A quiet house
- Long sleeves on a brisk fall day
- Discovering a new blog
- Watching Cillian explore something new
- Striking color combinations
- Clear skin
- Sitting down to a dinner cooked by my husband
- Feeling Jameson kick
- Crafting :)
- Seeing Cillian's excited little face when he hears an airplane
- An organized purse
- Reading Harry Potter to Caleb (just finished book 6!)
- Looking through old pictures and reading old letters
- The voice of Josh Groban
- A stylish new outfit
- Playing word games
- Surprises
- PEACHES
- Not dropping things on the floor (as in, I HATE bending down and picking up something I've unnecessarily or clumsily dropped.)
- Practicing new piano compositions
- Receiving personal mail
- Snuggling
- Good deals and sales
- Climbing into bed before 11 PM
I could think of many more, but I'll leave it at that. :) For now, those are my favorite things of today. I'd love to hear some of yours.
Here's the Quote of the Day:
"Happiness does not depend on outward things, but on the way we see them."
~ Leo Tolstoy
Hope you enjoy them.
- A newly clean-shaven husband (it reminds me of our wedding day...)
- Baby dimples
- Green lights. They mean go. :)
- A quiet house
- Long sleeves on a brisk fall day
- Discovering a new blog
- Watching Cillian explore something new
- Striking color combinations
- Clear skin
- Sitting down to a dinner cooked by my husband
- Feeling Jameson kick
- Crafting :)
- Seeing Cillian's excited little face when he hears an airplane
- An organized purse
- Reading Harry Potter to Caleb (just finished book 6!)
- Looking through old pictures and reading old letters
- The voice of Josh Groban
- A stylish new outfit
- Playing word games
- Surprises
- PEACHES
- Not dropping things on the floor (as in, I HATE bending down and picking up something I've unnecessarily or clumsily dropped.)
- Practicing new piano compositions
- Receiving personal mail
- Snuggling
- Good deals and sales
- Climbing into bed before 11 PM
I could think of many more, but I'll leave it at that. :) For now, those are my favorite things of today. I'd love to hear some of yours.
Here's the Quote of the Day:
"Happiness does not depend on outward things, but on the way we see them."
~ Leo Tolstoy
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
Birthday Weekend
I am now twenty two years old, two years and two months married, and thirty-two weeks pregnant while chasing around an exploring 15-month old.
I love it.
Though I'm feeling like a house - a house dragged along on wheels, since I have to keep up with Cillian's quick, chubby little legs - I am more than ready to have another baby boy around. But even though the enormous feeling that comes with being this pregnant is there, I am trying to savor these last few weeks I have, feeling Jameson's kicks and squirms inside me, uncomfortable though they are quickly becoming.
Honestly, I will be surprised if Jameson comes out smaller than Cillian was - this child feels huge! And he is certainly stronger and more active than Cillian was at this point, and Cillian hardly gave me a rest. I love feeling all this kicking though, as if Jamie is already trying to compete with Cillian for my attention. I have a hunch that he's going to give Cillian a run for his money as soon as he comes out.
This weekend was quite a fun one, beginning with a drive to Cincinnati to celebrate my birthday with my family and dear auntie, then home for Sunday and part of Monday. Mom Wilson came in the afternoon to pick Cillian up so Caleb and I could drive to Batesville for our overnight getaway at Stonebridge Inn and Spa! It is our favorite place to relax.... I cannot stress how beautiful and quaint this place is. If you wish to see for yourself, here is a link to their website.
http://stonebridgeinnandspa.com/
The hospitality, the rooms, the house, the view, the atmosphere, the spa, the staff.... it's all the epitome of perfection, in my opinion! Caleb and I both had massages on Tuesday, which were heavenly... it was a wonderful birthday.
Today is a catch-up/recovery day. I'm working through a small mountain of laundry, writing some thank-you notes, and straightening the house a tad bit, whilst enjoying a quiet day with my little buddy. Maybe we'll go take a walk later. It's supposed to be nice and cool out today.
Speaking of said buddy... I can hear him waking up from his nap. Just talking softly to himself. He's usually so sweet and cuddly when he wakes up from a nap.
I can't stand it. I must go get him. Writing will have to wait. So for now, this will have to do!
Here is the Quote of the Day:
"Whatever you may be seeking, seek it with all your strength, but do not expect your own search and efforts to bear fruit of themselves. Put your trust in the Lord, ascribing nothing to yourself, and He will give you your heart's desire."
~ St. Theophan the Recluse
I love it.
Though I'm feeling like a house - a house dragged along on wheels, since I have to keep up with Cillian's quick, chubby little legs - I am more than ready to have another baby boy around. But even though the enormous feeling that comes with being this pregnant is there, I am trying to savor these last few weeks I have, feeling Jameson's kicks and squirms inside me, uncomfortable though they are quickly becoming.
Honestly, I will be surprised if Jameson comes out smaller than Cillian was - this child feels huge! And he is certainly stronger and more active than Cillian was at this point, and Cillian hardly gave me a rest. I love feeling all this kicking though, as if Jamie is already trying to compete with Cillian for my attention. I have a hunch that he's going to give Cillian a run for his money as soon as he comes out.
This weekend was quite a fun one, beginning with a drive to Cincinnati to celebrate my birthday with my family and dear auntie, then home for Sunday and part of Monday. Mom Wilson came in the afternoon to pick Cillian up so Caleb and I could drive to Batesville for our overnight getaway at Stonebridge Inn and Spa! It is our favorite place to relax.... I cannot stress how beautiful and quaint this place is. If you wish to see for yourself, here is a link to their website.
http://stonebridgeinnandspa.com/
The hospitality, the rooms, the house, the view, the atmosphere, the spa, the staff.... it's all the epitome of perfection, in my opinion! Caleb and I both had massages on Tuesday, which were heavenly... it was a wonderful birthday.
Today is a catch-up/recovery day. I'm working through a small mountain of laundry, writing some thank-you notes, and straightening the house a tad bit, whilst enjoying a quiet day with my little buddy. Maybe we'll go take a walk later. It's supposed to be nice and cool out today.
Speaking of said buddy... I can hear him waking up from his nap. Just talking softly to himself. He's usually so sweet and cuddly when he wakes up from a nap.
I can't stand it. I must go get him. Writing will have to wait. So for now, this will have to do!
Here is the Quote of the Day:
"Whatever you may be seeking, seek it with all your strength, but do not expect your own search and efforts to bear fruit of themselves. Put your trust in the Lord, ascribing nothing to yourself, and He will give you your heart's desire."
~ St. Theophan the Recluse
Friday, July 29, 2011
Some Thoughts on Marriage
I suppose I'm on an introspective kick recently as far as writing goes, and it is refreshing for me. These are things I enjoy pondering about most - ways of life, and most specifically, the married way of life.
I have been married for little over two years, and though I do know I'm highly inexperienced in this way of life compared to anyone who has been married longer than a mere two years, I cannot restrain myself from writing some thoughts I've had about it.
So, bear with me if I'm trite today - I simply wish to share some things I've learned from these two eye-opening, and very growing years I have had with my husband so far. :)
You know the question "where do you see yourself in five years?" that people love to ask at summer camps or in semi-deep conversations? Well... if someone had told me where I'd be in five years when I was a 16-year-old junior in high school, my first question might have been exactly how they thought such a future in the distant five years ahead of me was possible.
Five years really isn't that long, I'm coming to realize, the older I become. And truly, it does feel like I've been married much longer than only two years. A lot has happened to me since I walked down the aisle... And I'm speculating now at just how behind I could have been in my own personal development had I not been fortunate enough to get married at the green age of nineteen. Boy, I knew absolutely nothing then. Not to say I know everything there is to know now that I can check off two years of marriage, but I hope I'm a trifle more knowledgeable.
It's seems so common to hear from people that "the first year of marriage is the hardest" and I'm glad to say that that was certainly not the case for us. Don't mistake me, there was definitely much for us to learn - for me, things about men, for Caleb, things about women, sacrifice (for both of us), what it looked like to each of us what it meant to be and feel genuinely loved, and generally that men and women are starkly different - but it wasn't what I would characterize as a difficult year for us.
Caleb and I are generally very happy people left to our own devices, and together we're even happier. The chemistry of our math has panned out as a very good thing (happy times happy equals happier.) But on a greater scale, I think what we worked the most on in our first year was communicating clearly, and that was what made it all seem easier.
The importance and beauty of perfectly clear communication cannot be exaggerated. It is golden. Even when you think you are doing enough, there is no limit to how equal-minded you can become with your spouse. You learn to communicate on deeper level after deeper level, discovering new depth you couldn't have imagined possible between two human beings. But that is the sweetness of marriage... you can never stop learning, and you will always be learning together, though sometimes at different paces. This is a lesson I look forward to continue learning over and over in my marriage.
Something else I have discovered is that there is no such thing as "50-50." Sacrifice is not 50-50. Even the trapping mindset of "give and take" has no place of belonging in a healthy marriage. With it present, one is easily subject to give in to selfishness and entitlement - surely qualities one doesn't want lingering and festering in one's relationship with their spouse. There is only give and give. I think there is a fine line between entitlement and communicating what needs you have that must be met, else you become resentful when those needs are not met in the marriage. One cannot be demanding or self-important.
One thing I've just started learning this past year is how helpful it is to put myself in Caleb's shoes. When I'm at home all day, waiting for him to get home and possibly having had a difficult day, counting on a break when he walks through that front door, it cannot be stressed enough how necessary it is for me to imagine what his day was like so I can put things in perspective. He might have had a hard day too, and while that certainly doesn't negate how mine was, it in no way enables it to be greater in need in comparison. The home is a sanctuary for the working man. And it is the wife's duty to ensure that it always stays that way.
Duty - not typically a word I would first think of when describing marriage, but it is important. Establishing a sense of duty in oneself takes practice, and I am no proficient. I think that maybe it's a bit of a grey area simply because it looks different in every marriage - just as there are a different set of expectations in every marriage. It is relevant nonetheless, to have a sense of duty as a husband or wife in one's marriage.
Something we both learned quickly soon after becoming man and wife was that communicating our expectations in one another was a capital necessity. Most of the time, I hardly knew what my expectations of Caleb (much less myself) even were until they weren't being met. Then we talked about it. Funny things, expectations... I think it's good to determine what is realistic versus what should be put on a shelf as a goal to work toward. I know there were unrealistic expectations we both had (and still have) of one another, and when you can clearly distinguish what is possible and what is not, it is exceedingly easier to get over your disappointment and shortcomings and accept things for how they truly are and not what you wish they'd be.
Going off from that tangent... One of the best lessons I've discovered is that in order to KEEP being happy in one's marriage, one must love the one you are with. Window shopping is over. You are married, taken, spoken for. And for me, falling into the mental trap of wishing that my husband could be better at something or wishing about things I would love for him to do or be only leads to dissatisfaction and bitterness. Being content with the spouse you are married to takes practice, and it is important to be vigilant about it. It is so easy to compare one's spouse to others... but it can quickly become a destructive habit if one allows oneself to always be wishing for more. Contentment is key.
One of the things we read about in our premarital counseling book, "Preserve Them, O Lord," (by Fr. John Mack) is of the importance of working on oneself and not going into marriage intending to change your spouse. (This is one of the biggest mistakes people can make when entering a marriage, Fr. Mack says.) The most effective way of changing anyone is to change oneself first and foremost. And it couldn't be truer in our marriage. There is no use in nagging or persuading or threatening. There exists hardly a more stubborn thing than the human will. Thus, all one can do if one seeks change in their spouse is to give up and instead work on oneself diligently. Actions speak louder than words, and with time, change can inspire change.
Conscious, intentional Love - if you've been married more than a year, you know for a fact that the initial twitterpation being engaged engenders truly does wear off. It is something seasonal, but it plays a necessary part. When we were newly in love, I vowed to myself never to "fall out of" infatuation with Caleb. How wonderfully mistaken I was to learn that this incredibly romantic and sometimes ridiculous phase comes to an end. Everything has a time, and love does change. I'm happy to say that we are not the same couple we were three years ago when we were engaged. The budding romantic love deepens into more meaningful, understanding love with time.
There are seasons of love, and even though one may not "feel in love" with one's spouse at some times, it is important to know that it is the decision of consciously and intentionally loving that makes a marriage successful, especially in those phases where you may not be attracted to your spouse. Because, as much as I'm sure we would all love to say that we are unconditionally and hopelessly in love with our spouse, there truly are times when we may not feel so warm and fuzzy about them. But that definitely does not give us permission to act unloving. Love truly is a decision to make at the start of every day we face, regardless of whether or not it is an easy choice.
Ok, here's one of my favorites... As wives, we are called to respect our husbands, and husbands you are called to love us, your wives. This does NOT mean that if my husband is not loving toward me that I am allowed to disrespect him! I am instructed to respect Caleb and submit to him at all times, regardless of how he acts toward me. The same goes for husbands, if we wives are not respecting them or submitting to them, that in no way gives them the go ahead to be unloving toward us. This is more of what I meant when previously mentioning the myth of 50-50 in a marriage. Such a marriage will be short-lived, I'm certain. Here is the illustration, a clear instruction of how we are supposed to live in our married lives, each giving 100% of ourselves and not keeping a tally of how much he did or she did. It does not measure, and it does not matter - that is not the point of marriage.
Fundamentally, the best image I can think of to describe marriage is being forever strapped to a mirror. This mirror reveals the best and worst qualities in us - some we knew were there, others we never could have seen without the mirror. We are forced to look at ourselves through the mirror at all times, whether we want to or not. Sometimes the truth of the mirror is kind, most others, it is painful. But we cannot look away once we see what we are truly made of once portrayed clearly in that mirror. We can try to hide, burying the things we wish not to face in ourselves. But there is no denying what is there once the unabashed truth of ourselves is revealed.
And that, I think, is why growing as a spouse with your spouse is one of the most excruciatingly painful but simultaneously fulfilling and transforming experiences in marriage. We are shaping one another into better people than we could ever have become on our own. Iron against iron, unpolished stone upon unpolished stone, we are such unfinished works of art without our counterparts. I hope I'm perfect when I die. (Only kidding.)
I love being married. The work is hard, but rewarding. But then, ONLY if you work hard at marriage will it be rewarding. I am happier than ever that I chose Caleb to share my life with, and that he chose me back. I am his, and he is mine, and with God, together we are whole, we are one.
Thank you Lord, for these two years with my beloved.
Here's the Quote of the Day:
"Marriage is the key of moderation and the harmony of the desires, the seal of a deep friendship... the unique drink from a fountain enclosed, inaccessible to those without. United in the flesh, one in spirit, they urge each other on by the goad of their mutual love. For marriage does not remove God, but brings all closer to Him. for it is God Himself who draws us to it."
~ St. Gregory the Theologian (quote from "Preserve Them, O Lord")
I have been married for little over two years, and though I do know I'm highly inexperienced in this way of life compared to anyone who has been married longer than a mere two years, I cannot restrain myself from writing some thoughts I've had about it.
So, bear with me if I'm trite today - I simply wish to share some things I've learned from these two eye-opening, and very growing years I have had with my husband so far. :)
You know the question "where do you see yourself in five years?" that people love to ask at summer camps or in semi-deep conversations? Well... if someone had told me where I'd be in five years when I was a 16-year-old junior in high school, my first question might have been exactly how they thought such a future in the distant five years ahead of me was possible.
Five years really isn't that long, I'm coming to realize, the older I become. And truly, it does feel like I've been married much longer than only two years. A lot has happened to me since I walked down the aisle... And I'm speculating now at just how behind I could have been in my own personal development had I not been fortunate enough to get married at the green age of nineteen. Boy, I knew absolutely nothing then. Not to say I know everything there is to know now that I can check off two years of marriage, but I hope I'm a trifle more knowledgeable.
It's seems so common to hear from people that "the first year of marriage is the hardest" and I'm glad to say that that was certainly not the case for us. Don't mistake me, there was definitely much for us to learn - for me, things about men, for Caleb, things about women, sacrifice (for both of us), what it looked like to each of us what it meant to be and feel genuinely loved, and generally that men and women are starkly different - but it wasn't what I would characterize as a difficult year for us.
Caleb and I are generally very happy people left to our own devices, and together we're even happier. The chemistry of our math has panned out as a very good thing (happy times happy equals happier.) But on a greater scale, I think what we worked the most on in our first year was communicating clearly, and that was what made it all seem easier.
The importance and beauty of perfectly clear communication cannot be exaggerated. It is golden. Even when you think you are doing enough, there is no limit to how equal-minded you can become with your spouse. You learn to communicate on deeper level after deeper level, discovering new depth you couldn't have imagined possible between two human beings. But that is the sweetness of marriage... you can never stop learning, and you will always be learning together, though sometimes at different paces. This is a lesson I look forward to continue learning over and over in my marriage.
Something else I have discovered is that there is no such thing as "50-50." Sacrifice is not 50-50. Even the trapping mindset of "give and take" has no place of belonging in a healthy marriage. With it present, one is easily subject to give in to selfishness and entitlement - surely qualities one doesn't want lingering and festering in one's relationship with their spouse. There is only give and give. I think there is a fine line between entitlement and communicating what needs you have that must be met, else you become resentful when those needs are not met in the marriage. One cannot be demanding or self-important.
One thing I've just started learning this past year is how helpful it is to put myself in Caleb's shoes. When I'm at home all day, waiting for him to get home and possibly having had a difficult day, counting on a break when he walks through that front door, it cannot be stressed enough how necessary it is for me to imagine what his day was like so I can put things in perspective. He might have had a hard day too, and while that certainly doesn't negate how mine was, it in no way enables it to be greater in need in comparison. The home is a sanctuary for the working man. And it is the wife's duty to ensure that it always stays that way.
Duty - not typically a word I would first think of when describing marriage, but it is important. Establishing a sense of duty in oneself takes practice, and I am no proficient. I think that maybe it's a bit of a grey area simply because it looks different in every marriage - just as there are a different set of expectations in every marriage. It is relevant nonetheless, to have a sense of duty as a husband or wife in one's marriage.
Something we both learned quickly soon after becoming man and wife was that communicating our expectations in one another was a capital necessity. Most of the time, I hardly knew what my expectations of Caleb (much less myself) even were until they weren't being met. Then we talked about it. Funny things, expectations... I think it's good to determine what is realistic versus what should be put on a shelf as a goal to work toward. I know there were unrealistic expectations we both had (and still have) of one another, and when you can clearly distinguish what is possible and what is not, it is exceedingly easier to get over your disappointment and shortcomings and accept things for how they truly are and not what you wish they'd be.
Going off from that tangent... One of the best lessons I've discovered is that in order to KEEP being happy in one's marriage, one must love the one you are with. Window shopping is over. You are married, taken, spoken for. And for me, falling into the mental trap of wishing that my husband could be better at something or wishing about things I would love for him to do or be only leads to dissatisfaction and bitterness. Being content with the spouse you are married to takes practice, and it is important to be vigilant about it. It is so easy to compare one's spouse to others... but it can quickly become a destructive habit if one allows oneself to always be wishing for more. Contentment is key.
One of the things we read about in our premarital counseling book, "Preserve Them, O Lord," (by Fr. John Mack) is of the importance of working on oneself and not going into marriage intending to change your spouse. (This is one of the biggest mistakes people can make when entering a marriage, Fr. Mack says.) The most effective way of changing anyone is to change oneself first and foremost. And it couldn't be truer in our marriage. There is no use in nagging or persuading or threatening. There exists hardly a more stubborn thing than the human will. Thus, all one can do if one seeks change in their spouse is to give up and instead work on oneself diligently. Actions speak louder than words, and with time, change can inspire change.
Conscious, intentional Love - if you've been married more than a year, you know for a fact that the initial twitterpation being engaged engenders truly does wear off. It is something seasonal, but it plays a necessary part. When we were newly in love, I vowed to myself never to "fall out of" infatuation with Caleb. How wonderfully mistaken I was to learn that this incredibly romantic and sometimes ridiculous phase comes to an end. Everything has a time, and love does change. I'm happy to say that we are not the same couple we were three years ago when we were engaged. The budding romantic love deepens into more meaningful, understanding love with time.
There are seasons of love, and even though one may not "feel in love" with one's spouse at some times, it is important to know that it is the decision of consciously and intentionally loving that makes a marriage successful, especially in those phases where you may not be attracted to your spouse. Because, as much as I'm sure we would all love to say that we are unconditionally and hopelessly in love with our spouse, there truly are times when we may not feel so warm and fuzzy about them. But that definitely does not give us permission to act unloving. Love truly is a decision to make at the start of every day we face, regardless of whether or not it is an easy choice.
Ok, here's one of my favorites... As wives, we are called to respect our husbands, and husbands you are called to love us, your wives. This does NOT mean that if my husband is not loving toward me that I am allowed to disrespect him! I am instructed to respect Caleb and submit to him at all times, regardless of how he acts toward me. The same goes for husbands, if we wives are not respecting them or submitting to them, that in no way gives them the go ahead to be unloving toward us. This is more of what I meant when previously mentioning the myth of 50-50 in a marriage. Such a marriage will be short-lived, I'm certain. Here is the illustration, a clear instruction of how we are supposed to live in our married lives, each giving 100% of ourselves and not keeping a tally of how much he did or she did. It does not measure, and it does not matter - that is not the point of marriage.
Fundamentally, the best image I can think of to describe marriage is being forever strapped to a mirror. This mirror reveals the best and worst qualities in us - some we knew were there, others we never could have seen without the mirror. We are forced to look at ourselves through the mirror at all times, whether we want to or not. Sometimes the truth of the mirror is kind, most others, it is painful. But we cannot look away once we see what we are truly made of once portrayed clearly in that mirror. We can try to hide, burying the things we wish not to face in ourselves. But there is no denying what is there once the unabashed truth of ourselves is revealed.
And that, I think, is why growing as a spouse with your spouse is one of the most excruciatingly painful but simultaneously fulfilling and transforming experiences in marriage. We are shaping one another into better people than we could ever have become on our own. Iron against iron, unpolished stone upon unpolished stone, we are such unfinished works of art without our counterparts. I hope I'm perfect when I die. (Only kidding.)
I love being married. The work is hard, but rewarding. But then, ONLY if you work hard at marriage will it be rewarding. I am happier than ever that I chose Caleb to share my life with, and that he chose me back. I am his, and he is mine, and with God, together we are whole, we are one.
Thank you Lord, for these two years with my beloved.
Here's the Quote of the Day:
"Marriage is the key of moderation and the harmony of the desires, the seal of a deep friendship... the unique drink from a fountain enclosed, inaccessible to those without. United in the flesh, one in spirit, they urge each other on by the goad of their mutual love. For marriage does not remove God, but brings all closer to Him. for it is God Himself who draws us to it."
~ St. Gregory the Theologian (quote from "Preserve Them, O Lord")
Friday, July 22, 2011
The Proverbs 31 Woman
I was paging through a notebook of mine, searching for some spare blank space, and came across some Scripture verses I'd written down a while back. Something I like to do is practice penmanship, and what better way to practice than with the extensive, unlimited Scripture verses that I normally ingest much more easily than when I'm just reading them?
That said... a favorite of mine to write out is the last Proverbs chapter on the Wife of Noble Character or the Virtuous Wife.
I am not a knowledgeable priest, nor a scholarly seminarian, and hardly a theologian, but I just wanted to share my thoughts on what it means to me to strive to be that wife portrayed so beautifully in Proverbs.
It is not an easy calling to be a good wife. A GOOD wife. Sure, just about anyone can be a wife. But I want to be more than that. I want to strive to be what God esteems as this Wife of Noble Character.
"Who will find a courageous wife? For such a one is more valuable than precious stones."
Just the first two sentences sum it up for me.
"The heart of her husband trusts in her. She will not be at a loss for fine spoils, for she provides good things for her husband all her life."
This is truly poetry... the heart of her husband trusts in her - he does not have a worry because his wife is a capable, strong woman.
"She weaves wool and linen cloth and is productive with her hands. She is like a ship trading afar off, so she procures her livelihood."
What I get from this is that a noble wife takes the initiative when she sees an opportunity - she doesn't need anyone to tell her what to do - and she is creative with it, utilizing her talents to do something good and useful for her household, for others, for her family.
"She also rises before dawn and gives food to her household and appoints tasks for her maidservants."
I'm working on the getting up early part, and can already see why this is such a wonderful habit to get into. There is such an accomplished feeling being up before one's child(ren), preparing your mind and body for the day, getting things done, and being entirely ready for them when they wake up. And, seeing as I don't and most likely never will have "maidservants," my thought is that the last bit here could mean there is importance and value in being skilled at delegating. For me, this will certainly include being a successful homeschooling mom who can motivate her children well.
"Seeing a farm, she buys it, and from the fruits of her hands she plants her plot of land."
Again, seizing an opportunity, but with careful consideration... she is wise and hard-working.
"Strongly girding her loins, she strengthens her arms for work. She experiences work as a good thing, and her lamp is not quenched all night. She extends her arms to do profitable things, and she applies her hands to the spindle."
She is capable - physically strong and competent. I certainly need to work on this one. "Her lamp is not quenched all night." Even when she could be resting in the darkness of the evening, she works by the light of her lamp. She doesn't cease her work until it is finished. She has patience, determination, and self-control.
"She opens her hands to the poor and reaches out with her fruit to the needy."
She is a giving and kind woman. She seeks the needs of others and fills them with her generosity.
"Her husband is not anxious about those at home when he spends a long time elsewhere, for all her household are clothed."
This wife is not a needy woman. She is not a child. She is a true woman, who needs no reassurance in the good of her hard work. She is self-sufficient and able to look after her household when her husband is absent. (Not to say that she is fulfilled without her husband, but meaning that she is not useless without him there.)
"She makes a double upper garment for her husband and garments of fine linen and purple for herself. Her husband is respected at the gates and when he sits in council with the elders who inhabit the land. She makes and sells fine linens and girdles to the Canaanites."
She is an industrial woman - practical, skilled and creative. She is good with her hands.
"She opens her mouth carefully and lawfully and controls her tongue. She clothes herself with strength and dignity and rejoices in the last days. She runs her household carefully, and she does not eat the bread of idleness. She opens her mouth wisely and lawfully, and her charity raises her children, and they become rich, and her husband praises her, "Many daughters acquire riches; many do mighty things, but you excel and surpass them all." Desires to please are deceitful, and the beauty of a wife is vain; for a wise wife is blessed, and let her in fear praise the Lord. Give to her from the fruits of her hands, and let her husband praise her at the gates."
Oh to be worthy of such praise! What a calling we have, as wives striving to be godly and dutiful! This wonderful illustration of what it looks like to be such a God fearing wife is certainly no small ambition to achieve.
I have several models of women in my life who exemplify what it means to be this Proverbs 31 wife. They are my real life examples. To my mother, my husband's mother, all of my married sisters, and my many dear married friends - you all teach me how to become a more godly and devoted wife to my husband, step by step, in little ways, (though you may not realize it), and your examples are very admired and looked up to. You inspire me, as does the example given to us all in the Wife of Noble Character, to have the courage and strength to be a worthy wife.
Here's the Quote of the Day: (It's a favorite of mine...)
"Nothing is more powerful than a pious and sensible woman to bring her husband into proper order, and to mold his soul as she wills. For he will not listen to friends, or teachers, or rulers as much as he will his partner advising and counseling him, since the advice carries some pleasures with it, because she who gives the counsel is greatly loved."
~ St. John Chrysostom (a quote from "Preserve Them, O Lord" by Fr. John Mack)
That said... a favorite of mine to write out is the last Proverbs chapter on the Wife of Noble Character or the Virtuous Wife.
I am not a knowledgeable priest, nor a scholarly seminarian, and hardly a theologian, but I just wanted to share my thoughts on what it means to me to strive to be that wife portrayed so beautifully in Proverbs.
It is not an easy calling to be a good wife. A GOOD wife. Sure, just about anyone can be a wife. But I want to be more than that. I want to strive to be what God esteems as this Wife of Noble Character.
"Who will find a courageous wife? For such a one is more valuable than precious stones."
Just the first two sentences sum it up for me.
"The heart of her husband trusts in her. She will not be at a loss for fine spoils, for she provides good things for her husband all her life."
This is truly poetry... the heart of her husband trusts in her - he does not have a worry because his wife is a capable, strong woman.
"She weaves wool and linen cloth and is productive with her hands. She is like a ship trading afar off, so she procures her livelihood."
What I get from this is that a noble wife takes the initiative when she sees an opportunity - she doesn't need anyone to tell her what to do - and she is creative with it, utilizing her talents to do something good and useful for her household, for others, for her family.
"She also rises before dawn and gives food to her household and appoints tasks for her maidservants."
I'm working on the getting up early part, and can already see why this is such a wonderful habit to get into. There is such an accomplished feeling being up before one's child(ren), preparing your mind and body for the day, getting things done, and being entirely ready for them when they wake up. And, seeing as I don't and most likely never will have "maidservants," my thought is that the last bit here could mean there is importance and value in being skilled at delegating. For me, this will certainly include being a successful homeschooling mom who can motivate her children well.
"Seeing a farm, she buys it, and from the fruits of her hands she plants her plot of land."
Again, seizing an opportunity, but with careful consideration... she is wise and hard-working.
"Strongly girding her loins, she strengthens her arms for work. She experiences work as a good thing, and her lamp is not quenched all night. She extends her arms to do profitable things, and she applies her hands to the spindle."
She is capable - physically strong and competent. I certainly need to work on this one. "Her lamp is not quenched all night." Even when she could be resting in the darkness of the evening, she works by the light of her lamp. She doesn't cease her work until it is finished. She has patience, determination, and self-control.
"She opens her hands to the poor and reaches out with her fruit to the needy."
She is a giving and kind woman. She seeks the needs of others and fills them with her generosity.
"Her husband is not anxious about those at home when he spends a long time elsewhere, for all her household are clothed."
This wife is not a needy woman. She is not a child. She is a true woman, who needs no reassurance in the good of her hard work. She is self-sufficient and able to look after her household when her husband is absent. (Not to say that she is fulfilled without her husband, but meaning that she is not useless without him there.)
"She makes a double upper garment for her husband and garments of fine linen and purple for herself. Her husband is respected at the gates and when he sits in council with the elders who inhabit the land. She makes and sells fine linens and girdles to the Canaanites."
She is an industrial woman - practical, skilled and creative. She is good with her hands.
"She opens her mouth carefully and lawfully and controls her tongue. She clothes herself with strength and dignity and rejoices in the last days. She runs her household carefully, and she does not eat the bread of idleness. She opens her mouth wisely and lawfully, and her charity raises her children, and they become rich, and her husband praises her, "Many daughters acquire riches; many do mighty things, but you excel and surpass them all." Desires to please are deceitful, and the beauty of a wife is vain; for a wise wife is blessed, and let her in fear praise the Lord. Give to her from the fruits of her hands, and let her husband praise her at the gates."
Oh to be worthy of such praise! What a calling we have, as wives striving to be godly and dutiful! This wonderful illustration of what it looks like to be such a God fearing wife is certainly no small ambition to achieve.
I have several models of women in my life who exemplify what it means to be this Proverbs 31 wife. They are my real life examples. To my mother, my husband's mother, all of my married sisters, and my many dear married friends - you all teach me how to become a more godly and devoted wife to my husband, step by step, in little ways, (though you may not realize it), and your examples are very admired and looked up to. You inspire me, as does the example given to us all in the Wife of Noble Character, to have the courage and strength to be a worthy wife.
Here's the Quote of the Day: (It's a favorite of mine...)
"Nothing is more powerful than a pious and sensible woman to bring her husband into proper order, and to mold his soul as she wills. For he will not listen to friends, or teachers, or rulers as much as he will his partner advising and counseling him, since the advice carries some pleasures with it, because she who gives the counsel is greatly loved."
~ St. John Chrysostom (a quote from "Preserve Them, O Lord" by Fr. John Mack)
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
Good Things
I thought this week deserved a post - lots of things have been changing, and all for the better.
So far, I have successfully gotten up at 6 every morning this week with Caleb to get some things done around the house while he works out for an hour before we have breakfast together, and he leaves for work. It is a wonderful, wonderful thing. Each morning I've battled with my sleepy self about whether or not to fight getting up, but each time without fail, I feel so good about deciding to get out of bed, only minutes after doing so. It's astounding - I really can wake up relatively quickly if I simply put my mind to it. It's just that. Putting my mind to it.
I'll even dare to say that I think I could become a morning person. For the longest time, I've considered myself a night owl (which is true,) and therefore incapable of molding what I thought was my nature into being a so-called morning person. I don't think that's the case though. I believe night owls can become early birds, though it may take time and determination to change the habit. (I'm not sure it works as well the other way around, but that's for another day.) All I'm saying is, I know I can make myself get up and survive through the day to tell the tale. I can even enjoy it.
And now that I'm actually getting up this early (instead of speculating about it with dread), it's the most refreshing, energizing thing I could do to start my day. I can get chores started and some finished in the morning, reward myself with a hearty breakfast with my husband, and then wait for Cillian to wake up as I have some time to do whatever I please. I'm discovering that this series of events making up my morning makes me an exceedingly joyful person. And then I'm more than ready to see Cillian's bouncing smiles once he wakes up and take care of him.
Within the last two weeks, Cillian will sometimes wake up at 8:00 when Caleb leaves, and then we have some breakfast and playtime, and he'll have a good morning nap while I take a shower or nap or get some more things done. I really like this routine. Most mornings he will sleep until 9 or 10 however, in which case he will only have one nap during the day, and our routine takes the Plan B route.
I think the kick for all of this started with a book I got out from the library the past week - it's another one of what I like to call Golden Books. It's my new organizational bible. And I wouldn't be surprised if God planted it there in the library to inspire me to get off my bum and do some real work around the house.
It's called "Secrets to Get Organized in Minutes" by Alex A. Lluch. Just picking up the book itself is motivating... it is a highly organized, easy-to-flip-through little book containing all the useful tips and tricks to organizing your lifestyle, your home, your time, your possessions, and more. And it is presented in such a way that is easy to read and/or refer to.
I was most inspired to work on our master closet, as it was (previously) packed to the brim with disorganized maternity clothes, mostly borrowed, clothes I knew didn't fit me anymore, shoes, and things that generally didn't even belong in the closet to begin with. Now, after a trip to the Container Store* (my new favorite place... see www.containerstore.com) in Cincinnati, a few choice purchases, about 5 hours total of sorting, organizing, purging, and rearranging, and some serious sweat, my side of the closet and my side of the dresser are now so beautiful you might think Martha Stewart herself had come in and spread a little of her magic.
Ok, it's not THAT good... but still, certainly a major improvement, and I couldn't be happier with my highly organized closet space and dresser. Now for Caleb's side of the closet - which, to be honest, really doesn't need all that much work.
I've walked into my closet several times without a reason save to inhale the glorious organizedness of it. It is a beautiful thing to a usually untidy, disorganized person. I intend to maintain its perfect state, not to mention move on to organizing the rest of our home, and work harder to keep my home tidy, neat and clean.
I believe I'm now catching a glimpse of what it means to work joyfully as well as to be joyful in the good of one's work. I'm amazed at the change getting up early and starting the day by working around the house has had in my attitude, my general mood, and my motivation. I think that when I'm in my "funk" kind of states, I tend to stay in them simply because it takes so much energy for me to climb over that hump of slothfulness into the realm of working hard. But once I'm finally there, it is easy. I need to remember how fulfilling this is when I fall into those lapses.
Another good thing is that I, for the first time during a pregnancy, have become interested in drinking coffee regularly. (For anyone wondering - yes, I am allowed to have a cup of coffee's worth of caffeine daily. :)) For some reason, the idea of drinking coffee has never attracted me so much as it suddenly has recently. I'm sure that the caffeine still doesn't affect me, but the knowledge that I'm drinking a cozy substance that normally perks up one's morning certainly helps. Plus, I really do love coffee. I just have never been this interested in having it while pregnant until now. So as a result, I've become pretty good at making delicious coffee!
As a whole, I just feel better and more like what a mother and wife should be. This is a fulfilling lifestyle - organized, motivated, and hard working.
Here's the Quote of the Day:
"Do a little more each day than you think you possibly can." ~ Lowell Thomas
* For anyone who is interested to know, I discovered that a Container Store is soon to open here in Indianapolis come October of this year. This makes me VERY excited. :)
So far, I have successfully gotten up at 6 every morning this week with Caleb to get some things done around the house while he works out for an hour before we have breakfast together, and he leaves for work. It is a wonderful, wonderful thing. Each morning I've battled with my sleepy self about whether or not to fight getting up, but each time without fail, I feel so good about deciding to get out of bed, only minutes after doing so. It's astounding - I really can wake up relatively quickly if I simply put my mind to it. It's just that. Putting my mind to it.
I'll even dare to say that I think I could become a morning person. For the longest time, I've considered myself a night owl (which is true,) and therefore incapable of molding what I thought was my nature into being a so-called morning person. I don't think that's the case though. I believe night owls can become early birds, though it may take time and determination to change the habit. (I'm not sure it works as well the other way around, but that's for another day.) All I'm saying is, I know I can make myself get up and survive through the day to tell the tale. I can even enjoy it.
And now that I'm actually getting up this early (instead of speculating about it with dread), it's the most refreshing, energizing thing I could do to start my day. I can get chores started and some finished in the morning, reward myself with a hearty breakfast with my husband, and then wait for Cillian to wake up as I have some time to do whatever I please. I'm discovering that this series of events making up my morning makes me an exceedingly joyful person. And then I'm more than ready to see Cillian's bouncing smiles once he wakes up and take care of him.
Within the last two weeks, Cillian will sometimes wake up at 8:00 when Caleb leaves, and then we have some breakfast and playtime, and he'll have a good morning nap while I take a shower or nap or get some more things done. I really like this routine. Most mornings he will sleep until 9 or 10 however, in which case he will only have one nap during the day, and our routine takes the Plan B route.
I think the kick for all of this started with a book I got out from the library the past week - it's another one of what I like to call Golden Books. It's my new organizational bible. And I wouldn't be surprised if God planted it there in the library to inspire me to get off my bum and do some real work around the house.
It's called "Secrets to Get Organized in Minutes" by Alex A. Lluch. Just picking up the book itself is motivating... it is a highly organized, easy-to-flip-through little book containing all the useful tips and tricks to organizing your lifestyle, your home, your time, your possessions, and more. And it is presented in such a way that is easy to read and/or refer to.
I was most inspired to work on our master closet, as it was (previously) packed to the brim with disorganized maternity clothes, mostly borrowed, clothes I knew didn't fit me anymore, shoes, and things that generally didn't even belong in the closet to begin with. Now, after a trip to the Container Store* (my new favorite place... see www.containerstore.com) in Cincinnati, a few choice purchases, about 5 hours total of sorting, organizing, purging, and rearranging, and some serious sweat, my side of the closet and my side of the dresser are now so beautiful you might think Martha Stewart herself had come in and spread a little of her magic.
Ok, it's not THAT good... but still, certainly a major improvement, and I couldn't be happier with my highly organized closet space and dresser. Now for Caleb's side of the closet - which, to be honest, really doesn't need all that much work.
I've walked into my closet several times without a reason save to inhale the glorious organizedness of it. It is a beautiful thing to a usually untidy, disorganized person. I intend to maintain its perfect state, not to mention move on to organizing the rest of our home, and work harder to keep my home tidy, neat and clean.
I believe I'm now catching a glimpse of what it means to work joyfully as well as to be joyful in the good of one's work. I'm amazed at the change getting up early and starting the day by working around the house has had in my attitude, my general mood, and my motivation. I think that when I'm in my "funk" kind of states, I tend to stay in them simply because it takes so much energy for me to climb over that hump of slothfulness into the realm of working hard. But once I'm finally there, it is easy. I need to remember how fulfilling this is when I fall into those lapses.
Another good thing is that I, for the first time during a pregnancy, have become interested in drinking coffee regularly. (For anyone wondering - yes, I am allowed to have a cup of coffee's worth of caffeine daily. :)) For some reason, the idea of drinking coffee has never attracted me so much as it suddenly has recently. I'm sure that the caffeine still doesn't affect me, but the knowledge that I'm drinking a cozy substance that normally perks up one's morning certainly helps. Plus, I really do love coffee. I just have never been this interested in having it while pregnant until now. So as a result, I've become pretty good at making delicious coffee!
As a whole, I just feel better and more like what a mother and wife should be. This is a fulfilling lifestyle - organized, motivated, and hard working.
Here's the Quote of the Day:
"Do a little more each day than you think you possibly can." ~ Lowell Thomas
* For anyone who is interested to know, I discovered that a Container Store is soon to open here in Indianapolis come October of this year. This makes me VERY excited. :)
Thursday, June 16, 2011
One
I am officially the mother of a one year old.
Cillian turned one two weeks ago and he is as happy and bouncing as ever... I sure love my tiny tot. He is our little sunshine - it sure takes a good deal to dampen his cheery spirits. I look forward to seeing his grinning dimpled face every morning, as he bounces happily in his crib, ready to start the day with me.
I've been blessed with a very happy baby...
We had a celebratory cookout for him at a park here in Indianapolis the Saturday after his birthday, and it went very well. I made a couple of car cakes (complete with racing stripes!) with the help of my neighbor and we had the classic burgers and hot dogs, fruit salad, green salad, potato salad, and cake and ice cream. We had a lovely turnout of family and friends and drove home with an extremely generous caboodle of new presents for Cillian.
I know it's the most cliche thing I can say on the subject, but I really can't believe how fast this first year with Cillian has gone... it truly flies by quicker than you can imagine. But wow, it's been a terrific time so far. Caleb and I love being parents, and I am convinced now more than ever that our decision not to wait for kids was one of the best we could have made for our newly married life.
Speaking of our married life, Caleb and I are approaching our second wedding anniversary coming up on July 12 (also Caleb's 27th birthday). And that is also hard to believe!
I am so happy right now. This is truly the best life I could have dreamed of having - better even. Of course it's better than I could have ever imagined. I'm blessed beyond understanding with the husband, little son, and family I have. What an abundance of blessings I have to be thankful for!
Back to Cillian... he is in the beginning stages of walking now. He can stand up without support for a few seconds at a time, always testing himself by lifting his hands off of whatever he's holding on to in the "So big!" way. He can also take a couple of steps when he's feeling more daring, but so far he's been slow and steady in the walking development. He'll be a pro in no time though.
One of his favorite things to do is dance - he loves bouncing whenever there is music playing. Some hits are Celtic music (the kid knows his roots!) and my piano playing. As soon as I play his song, he crawls over as fast as his little limbs can carry him so he can plink along with me while he dances like crazy. I love it...
He has been saying a couple of words too, which is fun - normally "duck" and "dog" only without the "d's." So we hear quite a lot of "uck"ing and "og"ing. Whenever he hears a sound outside (and most times, it's not even a dog,) his tiny eyebrows shoot up, eyes bright. "Og! Og...og. Og!" Every once in a blue moon a "d" will slip out, and we'll hear the legitimate "dog," but it is a very rare occurrence, nearly to the point of being mythological.
I sure am enjoying these simple days of just me and him during the day. His simple and predictable routine. Wake up, eat, play, sleep, repeat. We're in between teething spells right now, so I'm enjoying not having to deal with that for the present. The most upset he ever gets is when he's tired, hurts something, or can't have something. It's a pretty simple little world of Cillian's right now. We're in the beginnings of discipline, but even that is relatively simple.
Life is pretty easy with a one year old. I love every age he is in, and each stage he comes to is "the best so far." I wonder if I'll continue thinking that once he reaches teen-hood... Hopefully if I do my job right, I will be. :)
For now, I'm loving my one year old. He is my little man. And he holds my heart in both of his tiny hands.
Here's the Quote of the Day!
“My friend has a baby. I'm recording all the noises he makes so later I can ask him what he meant.”
~ Stephen Wright
Cillian turned one two weeks ago and he is as happy and bouncing as ever... I sure love my tiny tot. He is our little sunshine - it sure takes a good deal to dampen his cheery spirits. I look forward to seeing his grinning dimpled face every morning, as he bounces happily in his crib, ready to start the day with me.
I've been blessed with a very happy baby...
We had a celebratory cookout for him at a park here in Indianapolis the Saturday after his birthday, and it went very well. I made a couple of car cakes (complete with racing stripes!) with the help of my neighbor and we had the classic burgers and hot dogs, fruit salad, green salad, potato salad, and cake and ice cream. We had a lovely turnout of family and friends and drove home with an extremely generous caboodle of new presents for Cillian.
I know it's the most cliche thing I can say on the subject, but I really can't believe how fast this first year with Cillian has gone... it truly flies by quicker than you can imagine. But wow, it's been a terrific time so far. Caleb and I love being parents, and I am convinced now more than ever that our decision not to wait for kids was one of the best we could have made for our newly married life.
Speaking of our married life, Caleb and I are approaching our second wedding anniversary coming up on July 12 (also Caleb's 27th birthday). And that is also hard to believe!
I am so happy right now. This is truly the best life I could have dreamed of having - better even. Of course it's better than I could have ever imagined. I'm blessed beyond understanding with the husband, little son, and family I have. What an abundance of blessings I have to be thankful for!
Back to Cillian... he is in the beginning stages of walking now. He can stand up without support for a few seconds at a time, always testing himself by lifting his hands off of whatever he's holding on to in the "So big!" way. He can also take a couple of steps when he's feeling more daring, but so far he's been slow and steady in the walking development. He'll be a pro in no time though.
One of his favorite things to do is dance - he loves bouncing whenever there is music playing. Some hits are Celtic music (the kid knows his roots!) and my piano playing. As soon as I play his song, he crawls over as fast as his little limbs can carry him so he can plink along with me while he dances like crazy. I love it...
He has been saying a couple of words too, which is fun - normally "duck" and "dog" only without the "d's." So we hear quite a lot of "uck"ing and "og"ing. Whenever he hears a sound outside (and most times, it's not even a dog,) his tiny eyebrows shoot up, eyes bright. "Og! Og...og. Og!" Every once in a blue moon a "d" will slip out, and we'll hear the legitimate "dog," but it is a very rare occurrence, nearly to the point of being mythological.
I sure am enjoying these simple days of just me and him during the day. His simple and predictable routine. Wake up, eat, play, sleep, repeat. We're in between teething spells right now, so I'm enjoying not having to deal with that for the present. The most upset he ever gets is when he's tired, hurts something, or can't have something. It's a pretty simple little world of Cillian's right now. We're in the beginnings of discipline, but even that is relatively simple.
Life is pretty easy with a one year old. I love every age he is in, and each stage he comes to is "the best so far." I wonder if I'll continue thinking that once he reaches teen-hood... Hopefully if I do my job right, I will be. :)
For now, I'm loving my one year old. He is my little man. And he holds my heart in both of his tiny hands.
Here's the Quote of the Day!
“My friend has a baby. I'm recording all the noises he makes so later I can ask him what he meant.”
~ Stephen Wright
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
Rude People are Everywhere
Hello everyone! Are you still there? I'm not dead, I promise. I've just been waiting for the writing urge teamed with a good reason to post something worth reading for the last two/three months. Apologies to those I've kept waiting for so long.
This is a very uncharacteristic post you are about to read, as it's quite unorthodox of me (no pun intended) to post it exactly after "Fr. Thomas Hopko's 55 Maxims." Well... you'll see what I mean in just a minute.
I've been mulling the idea for this post around for a couple months now I think, and it all started when my mom shared a particularly surprising experience she had with a Rudie at Meijer. I won't recount the entire story, but Ms. Mean Meijer Lady was certainly being deliberately rude. Naturally, my dear Mom was speechless at being so unexpectedly bombarded with such treatment, and came home to ask what we would have done in that situation. The indignant side in us began coming up with all sorts of hilarious comebacks (which, of course, you can do once you're not in the situation anymore).
And it got me thinking....
You never ever, EVER plan to go out one day expecting to meet a rude person. (At least, I don't.) And wouldn't it help if one was prepared for such situations ahead of time so that you're not resorting to swearing or stuttering! I think so. So, of course this means that one must have a pre-thought-out list of comebacks at the ready for any type of situation, so that when your brain freezes up, you can whip out that trusty little list and combat with, "Number 14!!!!"
So I have a couple of starters to get your thoughts rolling.
1 - "Oh, I apologize... for a minute there I had you confused with the center of the universe."
2 - "So, are you only rude on special occasions or where you just born this way?"
3 - My personal favorite.... Burst out laughing, "You think you're important! HAH!!"
I assure you, it's the last thing they'd expect for you to be quick on your feet with a witty (and humorous - that helps too) response.
I would love to hear some imaginary comebacks you have.... let's have a laugh!
More posting soon - I just needed a small one to get me going for more introspective stuff.
Here's the Quote of the Day!
"Whoever one is, and wherever one is, one is always in the wrong if one is rude."
~Maurice Baring
This is a very uncharacteristic post you are about to read, as it's quite unorthodox of me (no pun intended) to post it exactly after "Fr. Thomas Hopko's 55 Maxims." Well... you'll see what I mean in just a minute.
I've been mulling the idea for this post around for a couple months now I think, and it all started when my mom shared a particularly surprising experience she had with a Rudie at Meijer. I won't recount the entire story, but Ms. Mean Meijer Lady was certainly being deliberately rude. Naturally, my dear Mom was speechless at being so unexpectedly bombarded with such treatment, and came home to ask what we would have done in that situation. The indignant side in us began coming up with all sorts of hilarious comebacks (which, of course, you can do once you're not in the situation anymore).
And it got me thinking....
You never ever, EVER plan to go out one day expecting to meet a rude person. (At least, I don't.) And wouldn't it help if one was prepared for such situations ahead of time so that you're not resorting to swearing or stuttering! I think so. So, of course this means that one must have a pre-thought-out list of comebacks at the ready for any type of situation, so that when your brain freezes up, you can whip out that trusty little list and combat with, "Number 14!!!!"
So I have a couple of starters to get your thoughts rolling.
1 - "Oh, I apologize... for a minute there I had you confused with the center of the universe."
2 - "So, are you only rude on special occasions or where you just born this way?"
3 - My personal favorite.... Burst out laughing, "You think you're important! HAH!!"
I assure you, it's the last thing they'd expect for you to be quick on your feet with a witty (and humorous - that helps too) response.
I would love to hear some imaginary comebacks you have.... let's have a laugh!
More posting soon - I just needed a small one to get me going for more introspective stuff.
Here's the Quote of the Day!
"Whoever one is, and wherever one is, one is always in the wrong if one is rude."
~Maurice Baring
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
Fr. Thomas Hopko's 55 Maxims
I had to share these - Fr. Thomas Hopko is the Dean of St. Vladimir's Seminary in New York, and these are his 55 Maxims for basic Christian living. They are absolutely wonderful. I hope you take the time to read them and share them with others.
1. Be always with Christ.
2. Pray as you can, not as you want.
3. Have a keepable rule of prayer that you do by discipline.
4. Say the Lord’s Prayer several times a day.
5. Have a short prayer that you constantly repeat when your mind is not occupied with other things.
6. Make some prostrations when you pray.
7. Eat good foods in moderation.
8. Keep the Church’s fasting rules.
9. Spend some time in silence every day.
10. Do acts of mercy in secret.
11. Go to liturgical services regularly.
12. Go to confession and communion regularly.
13. Do not engage intrusive thoughts and feelings. Cut them off at the start.
14. Reveal all your thoughts and feelings regularly to a trusted person.
15. Read the scriptures regularly.
16. Read good books a little at a time.
17. Cultivate communion with the saints.
18. Be an ordinary person.
19. Be polite with everyone.
20. Maintain cleanliness and order in your home.
21. Have a healthy, wholesome hobby.
22. Exercise regularly.
23. Live a day, and a part of a day, at a time.
24. Be totally honest, first of all, with yourself.
25. Be faithful in little things.
26. Do your work, and then forget it.
27. Do the most difficult and painful things first.
28. Face reality.
29. Be grateful in all things.
30. Be cheerful.
31. Be simple, hidden, quiet and small.
32. Never bring attention to yourself.
33. Listen when people talk to you.
34. Be awake and be attentive.
35. Think and talk about things no more than necessary.
36. Speak simply, clearly, firmly and directly.
37. Flee imagination, analysis, figuring things out.
38. Flee carnal, sexual things at their first appearance.
39. Don’t complain, mumble, murmur or whine.
40. Don’t compare yourself with anyone.
41. Don’t seek or expect praise or pity from anyone.
42. We don’t judge anyone for anything.
43. Don’t try to convince anyone of anything.
44. Don’t defend or justify yourself.
45. Be defined and bound by God alone.
46. Accept criticism gratefully but test it critically.
47. Give advice to others only when asked or obligated to do so.
48. Do nothing for anyone that they can and should do for themselves.
49. Have a daily schedule of activities, avoiding whim and caprice.
50. Be merciful with yourself and with others.
51. Have no expectations except to be fiercely tempted to your last breath.
52. Focus exclusively on God and light, not on sin and darkness.
53. Endure the trial of yourself and your own faults and sins peacefully, serenely, because you know that God’s mercy is greater than your wretchedness.
54. When you fall, get up immediately and start over.
55. Get help when you need it, without fear and without shame.
1. Be always with Christ.
2. Pray as you can, not as you want.
3. Have a keepable rule of prayer that you do by discipline.
4. Say the Lord’s Prayer several times a day.
5. Have a short prayer that you constantly repeat when your mind is not occupied with other things.
6. Make some prostrations when you pray.
7. Eat good foods in moderation.
8. Keep the Church’s fasting rules.
9. Spend some time in silence every day.
10. Do acts of mercy in secret.
11. Go to liturgical services regularly.
12. Go to confession and communion regularly.
13. Do not engage intrusive thoughts and feelings. Cut them off at the start.
14. Reveal all your thoughts and feelings regularly to a trusted person.
15. Read the scriptures regularly.
16. Read good books a little at a time.
17. Cultivate communion with the saints.
18. Be an ordinary person.
19. Be polite with everyone.
20. Maintain cleanliness and order in your home.
21. Have a healthy, wholesome hobby.
22. Exercise regularly.
23. Live a day, and a part of a day, at a time.
24. Be totally honest, first of all, with yourself.
25. Be faithful in little things.
26. Do your work, and then forget it.
27. Do the most difficult and painful things first.
28. Face reality.
29. Be grateful in all things.
30. Be cheerful.
31. Be simple, hidden, quiet and small.
32. Never bring attention to yourself.
33. Listen when people talk to you.
34. Be awake and be attentive.
35. Think and talk about things no more than necessary.
36. Speak simply, clearly, firmly and directly.
37. Flee imagination, analysis, figuring things out.
38. Flee carnal, sexual things at their first appearance.
39. Don’t complain, mumble, murmur or whine.
40. Don’t compare yourself with anyone.
41. Don’t seek or expect praise or pity from anyone.
42. We don’t judge anyone for anything.
43. Don’t try to convince anyone of anything.
44. Don’t defend or justify yourself.
45. Be defined and bound by God alone.
46. Accept criticism gratefully but test it critically.
47. Give advice to others only when asked or obligated to do so.
48. Do nothing for anyone that they can and should do for themselves.
49. Have a daily schedule of activities, avoiding whim and caprice.
50. Be merciful with yourself and with others.
51. Have no expectations except to be fiercely tempted to your last breath.
52. Focus exclusively on God and light, not on sin and darkness.
53. Endure the trial of yourself and your own faults and sins peacefully, serenely, because you know that God’s mercy is greater than your wretchedness.
54. When you fall, get up immediately and start over.
55. Get help when you need it, without fear and without shame.
Let Us Fast with Joy
Today is the second day of Great Lent, and already I can tell a difference from how I treated last Lent to this Lent. Not to be prideful or boasting in saying this, but I think I finally have a clearer understanding of what Lent is supposed to be about.
My husband and I read the first day of Fr. Thomas Hopko's "The Lenten Spring" on what the purpose of Lent is and what it means to go through it. What struck me is that he talks over and over about fasting with JOY. Not fasting in sorrow, nor fasting with solemnity. We are to fast with JOY.
So what does this mean? I believe it to mean that Lent is not a time for grieving, but to be absorbed in learning to be strengthened in God as we willingly place ourselves within the grasp of temptation. It is a time to sharpen our swords, to arm ourselves with the skills necessary to fight off temptation in everyday life. It is a time to repent, to look inward and confess our sins, repenting of them and following Christ in all things. It is a time for falling down and getting back up again.
It is also a tithe of ourselves - if you think about it, 40 days is roughly one tenth of the 365 day year. And yes, we should be giving of ourselves at all times throughout every year, but Lent is a time for us to give the best of ourselves that we possibly can to give back to God, in a reminder to ourselves that we are His.
We are fasting with joy so that we may celebrate His resurrection with the feasting joy in our hearts! Fr. Thomas Hopko says that we should never despair - it is numbered among one of the greatest of sins, he says. Lent is not a time to be sorrowful. It is a time to fight the good fight within ourselves, to deny ourselves that which we do not depend upon to live for God. This is why we fast from not only food, but other distractions and temptations as well. Media, especially, in our day in age. Simply anything that diverts our attention from God is something to live without.
I hope you have the chance to attend as many Lenten services as you can... they are my favorite! I'm looking forward to attending the Canon of St. Andrew tonight. It will be beautiful.
May you have a very joyous and blessed Lent! May God bless you as you journey through Lent.
Here's the Quote of the Day:
"Let us begin the lenten time with delight … let us fast from passions as we fast from food, taking pleasure in the good words of the Spirit, that we may be granted to see the holy passion of Christ our God and his holy Pascha, spiritually rejoicing.
Thy grace has arisen upon us, O Lord, the illumination of our souls has shown forth; behold, now is the acceptable time; behold, now is the time of repentance."
~ Lenten Vesper Hymns
My husband and I read the first day of Fr. Thomas Hopko's "The Lenten Spring" on what the purpose of Lent is and what it means to go through it. What struck me is that he talks over and over about fasting with JOY. Not fasting in sorrow, nor fasting with solemnity. We are to fast with JOY.
So what does this mean? I believe it to mean that Lent is not a time for grieving, but to be absorbed in learning to be strengthened in God as we willingly place ourselves within the grasp of temptation. It is a time to sharpen our swords, to arm ourselves with the skills necessary to fight off temptation in everyday life. It is a time to repent, to look inward and confess our sins, repenting of them and following Christ in all things. It is a time for falling down and getting back up again.
It is also a tithe of ourselves - if you think about it, 40 days is roughly one tenth of the 365 day year. And yes, we should be giving of ourselves at all times throughout every year, but Lent is a time for us to give the best of ourselves that we possibly can to give back to God, in a reminder to ourselves that we are His.
We are fasting with joy so that we may celebrate His resurrection with the feasting joy in our hearts! Fr. Thomas Hopko says that we should never despair - it is numbered among one of the greatest of sins, he says. Lent is not a time to be sorrowful. It is a time to fight the good fight within ourselves, to deny ourselves that which we do not depend upon to live for God. This is why we fast from not only food, but other distractions and temptations as well. Media, especially, in our day in age. Simply anything that diverts our attention from God is something to live without.
I hope you have the chance to attend as many Lenten services as you can... they are my favorite! I'm looking forward to attending the Canon of St. Andrew tonight. It will be beautiful.
May you have a very joyous and blessed Lent! May God bless you as you journey through Lent.
Here's the Quote of the Day:
"Let us begin the lenten time with delight … let us fast from passions as we fast from food, taking pleasure in the good words of the Spirit, that we may be granted to see the holy passion of Christ our God and his holy Pascha, spiritually rejoicing.
Thy grace has arisen upon us, O Lord, the illumination of our souls has shown forth; behold, now is the acceptable time; behold, now is the time of repentance."
~ Lenten Vesper Hymns
Thursday, February 3, 2011
All the Single Ladies...
This post is dedicated to my unmarried lady friends, and even for those of you who are engaged or just married.
A few nights ago, my husband and I were routinely brushing our teeth before bed, and as I looked up and locked eyes with Caleb in the mirror, I just felt it again - simply sheer unbelief that I'm the incredibly lucky gal who got to marry him. Several times a day, when I'm with him, I'll be overcome with amazement when I look at him. He is SO attractive. In every way...
I'm writing all of this because I want to express how essential it is to feel attracted emotionally, physically, spiritually and in every other way imaginable, to your spouse. Every time I look into his eyes I can't resist the feeling of being drawn in, like a magnet. I can't look away, he's so beautiful to me.
How did I get so lucky? Me! It's unreal some days, that I'm married - and to Caleb Wilson, no less!
I've been married merely a year and a half; Caleb and I have been together for hardly more than three years. That's not a lot of time, if you really think about it. Especially compared to how much time you spend with your family growing up. But when he's the right one, it doesn't matter if you've been together for three months or three years. You wake up knowing every day that you are with the man you are ready to die for, the man you are going to spend the rest of your entire existence with, the man you want to share yourself and everything with.
Of course love isn't a feeling... it's a choice, really. But there has to be something there; that "spark" really does come to play a crucial part. You can choose to love someone, but you cannot choose to be attracted to someone. Attraction is an odd thing - it's there for a reason though. It intensifies those moments of unity in marriage, like when you're sharing an inside joke or you understand each other completely while just talking or simply glancing at one another.
So, ladies... my single lady friends, when you do get married, I hope you find someone who continually sweeps you off your feet, who you can honestly be in awe of and captivated by for the rest of your life. Someone you want to serve and share with, someone who makes you feel entirely free and at home in them simultaneously. Because infatuation does run its course, but attraction is a seasoned version of that initial twitterpation, and if it's real, that attraction will never fade with the love you have for your man.
And if you are engaged or married - learn to keep the spark of attraction alive! It's not difficult... creativity is a good place to start.
There is so much to look forward to in marriage, dear single ladies, and I hope you don't "settle" for anyone who doesn't make you feel extraordinarily alive and loves you exactly the way you are. I know I am married to my soulmate, and I'm generously reminded of it every single day. Marriage is so wholesome and fulfilling if you are patient to eventually discover the right man.
I feel so cheesy saying this, but truly...
Here's to love, marriage, and being a woman!
And the Quote of the Day...
"True love does not force itself on anyone, and it does not force change; it evokes growth. How? First, by accepting one's spouse as he or she is. When we marry we do not sign up to change the other person; we just agree to love him as he is. The best thing a husband can do to change his wife, or vice-versa, is to change himself, to correct his own faults - in keeping with Christ's instruction to His followers."
(~ Unknown)
A few nights ago, my husband and I were routinely brushing our teeth before bed, and as I looked up and locked eyes with Caleb in the mirror, I just felt it again - simply sheer unbelief that I'm the incredibly lucky gal who got to marry him. Several times a day, when I'm with him, I'll be overcome with amazement when I look at him. He is SO attractive. In every way...
I'm writing all of this because I want to express how essential it is to feel attracted emotionally, physically, spiritually and in every other way imaginable, to your spouse. Every time I look into his eyes I can't resist the feeling of being drawn in, like a magnet. I can't look away, he's so beautiful to me.
How did I get so lucky? Me! It's unreal some days, that I'm married - and to Caleb Wilson, no less!
I've been married merely a year and a half; Caleb and I have been together for hardly more than three years. That's not a lot of time, if you really think about it. Especially compared to how much time you spend with your family growing up. But when he's the right one, it doesn't matter if you've been together for three months or three years. You wake up knowing every day that you are with the man you are ready to die for, the man you are going to spend the rest of your entire existence with, the man you want to share yourself and everything with.
Of course love isn't a feeling... it's a choice, really. But there has to be something there; that "spark" really does come to play a crucial part. You can choose to love someone, but you cannot choose to be attracted to someone. Attraction is an odd thing - it's there for a reason though. It intensifies those moments of unity in marriage, like when you're sharing an inside joke or you understand each other completely while just talking or simply glancing at one another.
So, ladies... my single lady friends, when you do get married, I hope you find someone who continually sweeps you off your feet, who you can honestly be in awe of and captivated by for the rest of your life. Someone you want to serve and share with, someone who makes you feel entirely free and at home in them simultaneously. Because infatuation does run its course, but attraction is a seasoned version of that initial twitterpation, and if it's real, that attraction will never fade with the love you have for your man.
And if you are engaged or married - learn to keep the spark of attraction alive! It's not difficult... creativity is a good place to start.
There is so much to look forward to in marriage, dear single ladies, and I hope you don't "settle" for anyone who doesn't make you feel extraordinarily alive and loves you exactly the way you are. I know I am married to my soulmate, and I'm generously reminded of it every single day. Marriage is so wholesome and fulfilling if you are patient to eventually discover the right man.
I feel so cheesy saying this, but truly...
Here's to love, marriage, and being a woman!
And the Quote of the Day...
"True love does not force itself on anyone, and it does not force change; it evokes growth. How? First, by accepting one's spouse as he or she is. When we marry we do not sign up to change the other person; we just agree to love him as he is. The best thing a husband can do to change his wife, or vice-versa, is to change himself, to correct his own faults - in keeping with Christ's instruction to His followers."
(~ Unknown)
Monday, January 24, 2011
New Year Resolutions - A New Spin on 2011
This is the first post of the new year, I believe! It's funny, the very second each new year hits, I automatically feel more motivated to work on things. Not that that is all bad, but what is it that makes people want to start off with a clean slate for a new year? Why can't we feel like this at the beginning of every month, or every week, or day? Thank goodness it at least happens to me at least once a year instead of once every ten years. 2011 is not an even number.
I am definitely one of those people who makes New Year Resolutions. And I do a fair job at endeavoring to keep them, but the effort in essence hasn't become a habit, so therefore, I falter right along with the February crowd. Every year.
Supposedly, it only takes twenty-one days to form a habit. Well... habits aren't necessarily lifestyles, are they? I think it takes a bit more than just twenty-one days to form a lifestyle.
And, in a nutshell, that is what I'm about this year in particular - I'm out to create a better lifestyle, made up of better habits. But I'm pretty sure it all starts with your attitude. If your attitude is in the right place, so will your motivation and determination, and consequently, you'll accomplish what you want.
For me, the biggest thing I want to start doing (for life) is living what I believe. I'm such a good talker... I'm so good in fact, that I'm hypocritical. I know exactly what I need to do, but while I'm preaching it, I'll be doing the opposite! So, starting now, I'm trying to do what I believe. It really does take courage.
I am including the classic lose weight/exercise more combo also. I still have baby weight to lose, and it's not going anywhere unless I make it! This stuff takes honesty too - brutal, unforgiving honesty. Still working on the exercise end, but the eating better is going alright so far. I bought a jump rope after I learned that you can burn up to about 500 calories if you jump rope for a straight hour. It was only $3, so I haven't really wasted any money by neglecting to use it yet. But I should start soon. I watched some YouTube videos of some crazy jump roping to psych me up.
In general, what I want is to learn how to be balanced and consistent and hard-working. Those three things will help me in my struggles right now; I'll become a much better woman as a result of diligently working on them. Along with pursuing a better spiritual life (I'll get into that next.) I think I tend to gravitate toward extremes, and when that happens, I'll go go go for one big burst and then crash like it never happened. So I want to be more consistent in how I'm doing things. I think the key with me is to make goals that are easily achievable and work from there.
On the spiritual end, I'm trying to keep my prayer rule. I want to be reading more Scripture, lives of the saints, and teachings of the Church Fathers, and I'm going to start meeting regularly with my priest to talk. I definitely need accountability and some direction from a priest.
So, I think I'm on the right track!
Some things I've realized make me feel best are:
* Doing something for Caleb every day
* Doing something for me every day: something I love or want to do
* Working around the house somehow every day
* Doing a good job taking care of Cillian every day
* Play piano a little every day
* Pray every day
* Eat right and do something active every day
There are many others, but those are the main ones that make me feel like I'm being a worthy wife and mother, and just a good human being.
So, all of that said - I hope you make it a point to start better lifestyles and not be so wrapped up in starting new habits! I think new and improved habits are good, but they only get you so far. If your attitude is willing, you can create any lifestyle you can dream of.
Happy New Year, folks! May it be a wonderful 2011 for all of you!
Here's the first Quote of the Day for the new year, from the 2011 Orthodox Daily Calendar:
"He who is not submissive in his talk will certainly not be so in what he does. To be unfaithful in the small things is to be unfaithful in the great, and this is very hard to bring under control."
~ St. John Climacus
I am definitely one of those people who makes New Year Resolutions. And I do a fair job at endeavoring to keep them, but the effort in essence hasn't become a habit, so therefore, I falter right along with the February crowd. Every year.
Supposedly, it only takes twenty-one days to form a habit. Well... habits aren't necessarily lifestyles, are they? I think it takes a bit more than just twenty-one days to form a lifestyle.
And, in a nutshell, that is what I'm about this year in particular - I'm out to create a better lifestyle, made up of better habits. But I'm pretty sure it all starts with your attitude. If your attitude is in the right place, so will your motivation and determination, and consequently, you'll accomplish what you want.
For me, the biggest thing I want to start doing (for life) is living what I believe. I'm such a good talker... I'm so good in fact, that I'm hypocritical. I know exactly what I need to do, but while I'm preaching it, I'll be doing the opposite! So, starting now, I'm trying to do what I believe. It really does take courage.
I am including the classic lose weight/exercise more combo also. I still have baby weight to lose, and it's not going anywhere unless I make it! This stuff takes honesty too - brutal, unforgiving honesty. Still working on the exercise end, but the eating better is going alright so far. I bought a jump rope after I learned that you can burn up to about 500 calories if you jump rope for a straight hour. It was only $3, so I haven't really wasted any money by neglecting to use it yet. But I should start soon. I watched some YouTube videos of some crazy jump roping to psych me up.
In general, what I want is to learn how to be balanced and consistent and hard-working. Those three things will help me in my struggles right now; I'll become a much better woman as a result of diligently working on them. Along with pursuing a better spiritual life (I'll get into that next.) I think I tend to gravitate toward extremes, and when that happens, I'll go go go for one big burst and then crash like it never happened. So I want to be more consistent in how I'm doing things. I think the key with me is to make goals that are easily achievable and work from there.
On the spiritual end, I'm trying to keep my prayer rule. I want to be reading more Scripture, lives of the saints, and teachings of the Church Fathers, and I'm going to start meeting regularly with my priest to talk. I definitely need accountability and some direction from a priest.
So, I think I'm on the right track!
Some things I've realized make me feel best are:
* Doing something for Caleb every day
* Doing something for me every day: something I love or want to do
* Working around the house somehow every day
* Doing a good job taking care of Cillian every day
* Play piano a little every day
* Pray every day
* Eat right and do something active every day
There are many others, but those are the main ones that make me feel like I'm being a worthy wife and mother, and just a good human being.
So, all of that said - I hope you make it a point to start better lifestyles and not be so wrapped up in starting new habits! I think new and improved habits are good, but they only get you so far. If your attitude is willing, you can create any lifestyle you can dream of.
Happy New Year, folks! May it be a wonderful 2011 for all of you!
Here's the first Quote of the Day for the new year, from the 2011 Orthodox Daily Calendar:
"He who is not submissive in his talk will certainly not be so in what he does. To be unfaithful in the small things is to be unfaithful in the great, and this is very hard to bring under control."
~ St. John Climacus
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