Training

No, I'm not training for a marathon or something of the sort. I wish I was, but I'm not. I am however doing something of equal or greater importance in that of training Cillian.

It is not easy being a mother of a tiny tot sometimes. The consistency required of me to train Cillian can be exhausting at times, but in the end it is always rewarding, I'm discovering.

I decided to write this post to share some of Cillian's recent behavior which I've been very happy with, resulting in the last few weeks of what I'll call tot training. My philosophy on childrearing is constantly evolving and refining, the more I read, the more I observe, the more I learn. I think children are such fascinating little creatures - resilient, bright, inquisitive, naturally affectionate, fun-loving. But without proper guiding and training, these sweet little people can so easily grow up to become monsters - unbridled, selfish, and therefore, in most cases that I've heard of or seen, unhappy.

Some basics of my ideas of training and disciplining - going hand-in-hand - are that consistency is fundamentally key. Also, one should not discipline without having trained first. My understanding of training is that it is teaching what kind of behavior is expected of the child; discipline is teaching a consequence for disobeying the understood training. For example, if a child runs through the house screaming because they are being chased and they know they will be tickled if caught, that is simply a kid reacting like a kid. Enter training. Eventually that screaming is going to get on someone's nerves or wake up a sleeping sibling. Whatever the case, if one desires the screaming to stop, something has to happen. The child needs to be taught that the screaming is not tolerated before they are punished for disobeying. They have not disobeyed yet - they haven't been taught what is expected.

So, what I am doing with Cillian is training (and disciplining too). I am teaching him to obey me. In learning to obey me, he will learn what kind of behavior I expect from him. If he is disobedient, he is disciplined for what he understands. He is doing pretty well so far.

An overview of the last few months - since Jameson was born in November, I noticed that Cillian was having more trouble obeying and being his normal happy self. I had expected something like this, as the arrival of a new sibling can be expected to upturn the usual routine for the older one(s), which can result in regression. I'm pretty sure that's what happened with him, especially since, on top of learning how to handle less attention, the craziness of the busy holidays were hot on the heels of Jameson's birth. Naturally, his routine was severely disrupted with all of the late nights, the hustle and bustle of driving here and there, traveling hours at a time in the car, etc. etc. His little self couldn't take the inconsistency which resulted in random little fits of piercing screaming when we couldn't understand what he wanted or needed. It was quite frustrating.

Now, not only are we back on schedule with our normal daily routine, but he is talking more and can therefore communicate better to us. This makes training a lot easier for both parties.

The few things I've been teaching Cillian are:

* to come to me
* to stop doing something
* to keep hands to yourself/hands in your lap (this comes in handy when he's sitting with me and I'm either on the computer or have something I don't want him to touch)
* to be still (mostly during diaper changes and prayers is this one utilized)
* when I count to three, at the end of three if he doesn't obey, there will be a consequence
* during church, if I have to take him out, it means a spanking for him, not playtime

Yesterday was quite successful. He is obeying more and more every day. I know I have to keep reenforcing and being consistent. It is working before my very eyes... I have a cheerful and gradually more obedient 19-month old who is a joy to be with.

Something else I've noticed... the more I play with him and spend time being with him, the more he wants to obey. He knows that I love him and feels safe in the boundaries I create for him to protect him and to teach him how to obey. I wouldn't describe Cillian as an especially willful child, but he, like every little tot, is inquisitive enough to test the boundaries at every turn. It is the nature of a child, I believe. And I simply have to remember that he is testing those boundaries I place for him to make sure that he is safe. He is happiest when he knows he is safe. I can see that training and discipline take a vital role in ensuring that for him. And in turn, my reward in this consistent work is not being pushed to my emotional limit and exploding in anger at my child who is merely doing what he knows - he is what I create of him. If I teach him to obey, he will be obedient. If not, he will be a constant frustration to me, which is unhealthy and unfair to both of us.

Cillian truly has a dear, very happy disposition. It is my job as his mother to preserve his pure God-given spirit and weed out the sinful nature and human selfishness that can develop in him if left unattended.

Please pray for me, a young mother, as I continue learning and teaching for the benefit of my children. I am so grateful for this calling. It is such hard work, but so good and so fulfilling. Glory to God for all things and especially these children He has entrusted us with to bring up in His ways!

Have a wonderful day and thanks for reading. :)

Here's the Quote of the Day!


"Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it." ~ Proverbs 22:6